No wonder!

On my office desk, I have a large external monitor connected to my laptop. Thanks to MS Window’s extended desktop feature, it doesn’t duplicate my laptop’s screen and instead lets me decide which of the apps will be opened on which screen. So basically I can keep working on my laptop screen while the other monitor may or may not show any windows at all.

So one day, this smartass fellow came to my office. He is this really annoying guy but I somehow need to tolerate him for reasons better not revealed here… for one, that will change the direction of the story and second, I still want him to believe that I don’t, for the lack of a better word, dislike him that much.

Okay, coming back to the story. Recently when I changed my laptop, it came with a “VAIO” wallpaper which shows nothing but a gray logo on jet black screen. Thus if there are no open programs on second monitor, it just shows the wallpaper. The intellect of intellectuals asks.. hey, how did you get this logo painted on the monitor? Is it spray paint? Plus, don’t you find it irritating and distracting when you actually want to use this monitor?  It took me a second to realize that he is thinking that I got this logo painted on the monitor itself to boast off or show some kind of fanboyism to Sony, but when I did, I was actually dumbfounded.

You might think, how innocent! It is not that big of deal… but well, it is… The gentleman in question is an engineering degree holder in nothing less but computer science… claims to be among the toppers in class and after that… yes, hold your breath… went to IIM.

Not so innocent question.. right? It’s stupid and to be more precise, awful. Dude, as a computer engineer you are supposed to know at least this little something called wallpapers.

To be honest, I long back stopped thinking about the country’s future, coz well, it ain’t that  bright… but this!! I guess Mr.Sibal and their stooges don’t need to try that hard, coz the whole lot of this new generation is with them in the mission.


Yet another Debacle!

Technology is not really the strong suit for the people where we live in. We usually joke that Bikaner gets something after 7-8 years of the general launch and that too, when we are being fairly optimist. I always used to think, things are changing for good but oh dear lord.. are they! I learnt the latest lesson in a rather harsh way but well, nothing new about it. And of course, any learning is good learning so what the heck!

A few days back, a client of ours sent us a Blu-ray player for a project we are doing for him. I was by chance in the local video store next day to check on some titles and I casually enquired if they had something on Blu-ray?

The guy simply stared at me. Starting from face and then slowly moving the gaze from top to down with a puzzled look as if judging his response or trying to find the right expression.

This is odd, I thought, I am not asking for some classified material! Guess he didn’t really get it so I tried to make it easier for him and repeated the request slowly.. B L U R A Y? do you have something on it?

He still maintained this creepy look on his face, looked around and then a very low tone.. you need Blue films? You should not ask for it like this in public.

Suddenly everyone around was staring at me…

(Those who are not from India, must be wondering, so well, Blue Film is what they call softcore porn here)

Shit! I said in disgust. Forget it... and marched out of the library leaving the innocent guy wondering what he did wrong!

Later that day, I was talking to the client who sent this Blu-ray and telling him the experience.

S – You know the BR we sent is 3D.
Me – Yeah, so
S – Nah, just that, I don’t think I would like to watch porn in 3D
Me – haha.. why.. have you ever tried it? You won’t know till you try it!
S – No. Can’t say I have.. I would be just too worried, what is coming at my face!
Me – Oh Gross! Lets leave it at that.
S – Agreed!


Aiyo Jaya Nagaraa…

Okay, if you are still with me, I take you have nothing better to do in your life or at least in the present moment. This also concludes that your reading it further won’t make any collateral damage to country’s progress per se. So here goes!

So my dear jobless friends! These stupid lines are played to you in slowest possible pace by those ludicrous machine voices whenever you try to book a cab in Bangalore. Oh I get it its important, but dude.. if someone is booking a cab 5 times a day, don’t you think there should be at least an option to skip this crapola and move on with the actual business? Whatever happened to the commonsense?

Anyway, so last week when I was in Bangalore, I booked a cab with these smart Meru people to be picked up from Hotel SFO where I was meeting a friend. I didn’t know the exact location and I told them its Jaya Nagar or JP Nagar. I have no clue how they did it but within 5 minutes a cab was there. The guy even called me that he is waiting outside (though my number was STD for him). Quite impressive! Huh? Err.. not so fast, coz that’s what I did wrong…

The very next day, I was in SFO once again to meet the same friend. With the pleasant experience day before, I called Meru again. Guy confirmed the booking - Yes, Mr. Gupta, Hotel SFO, JP Nagar. (I think they picked it from last night or whatever)

In 10 minutes or so, there is a missed call on my cell. I don’t usually call back to these asinine missed callers but some instinct tells me that its my cab driver so I decide to call.

Me – Yes,
The guy other side – Saar, this is Satya from Meru. Where is your hotel?
Me – Well… I don’t know.
Satya – Saar! is it Jaya Nagar or JP Nagar?
Me – I wish I could help you my friend but I really don’t know… Why don’t you ask your call center? They sent someone last night as well.
Satya – You told them its JP Nagar
Me – No, I told them its either JP Nagar or Jaya Nagar. That too yesterday! Today your smartass call center guy said its JP Nagar
Satya – So saar, its Jaya Nagar or JP Nagar?
Me – I don’t think you are listening buddy but let me try again.. I  D O N T  K N O W
Satya – But saar….
Me – Oh Come on? Why don’t you get it? How do I know where the hell it is! I am a stranger in this city.. You speak to your call center and figure that out.
Satya – Jaya Nag…
Me – Oh crap.. hang on a tick. Let me take your call center on line

So I call their office and yes, I go through trauma of listening to that 72 seconds crap and then they connect me with a representative. Don’t worry Mr. Gupta.. it will be arranged. I will speak to the driver.

Another 5 minutes. Missed call again... I call back

Satya – Saar, this is Satya! Is it Jaya Nagar or JP Nagar
Me – Are you insane? I just spoke to your call center and the guy said its all arranged.
Satya – But Saar its Jaya Nagar or…

By that time, my patience is running out. My friend (who’s from US and has never seen this kind of crazy lot in past) is laughing his lungs off.

Me – Dude! I don’t know.. and I don’t care.. you figure it out.. If you can, all good. If you can’t.. even better.. Cancel the damn booking but just don’t call me again.

Another 2 minutes, missed call again.. OMG! This is not happening to me.. left with no choices.. I dial again to their call center and yes, go through the damn recorded voice and by the time an agent responds, I am ready to explode. So I describe the situation to him with various colorful adjectives and then finally after 30 minutes or so cab arrives.

End of trauma you will think.. but nope! I reach back to my hotel and Mr. Satya tells me that I will have to pay 50 bucks as convenience charge coz it was beyond regular 35 minutes and thus as per rules (Yes, go to start of post once again)

Me - Are you insane! What is it with you guys? If this is how you guys get your kicks in Bangalore? Screwing around with the innocent passengers?
Satya – Grinning.. but Saar

I swear I could totally bang his head to the hood but my gut told me its not a wise thing to do, especially when you are not on home turf.. so well..

You will think. I must be done with Meru by then… but nope! What do I do with my kind, sympathetic and generous heart!! It must be one bad day and one crazy driver I thought and in an impulse booked a cab again for airport transfer…

to be continued….

In the meantime, advise to Meru – GPS! Ever heard of that?

PS – I see that I left my last post with "to be continued" and its after almost 2 years that I am back on blog. So yeah.. I do understand my words are not very credible but this time the story will be continued ;)