tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-82033710225057789172024-03-13T21:31:53.100+05:30Wobble BubbleLazy Sunday mornings, Frantic Mondays, or confused week days.. thoughts as they come up to my mind...Scattered Thoughts...http://www.blogger.com/profile/15905369958934752147noreply@blogger.comBlogger56125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8203371022505778917.post-51470010684009556412015-01-25T01:12:00.000+05:302015-01-25T01:12:12.993+05:30Emptiness! <div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
it is said that happiness is nothing but a state of mind. I am not wise enough to comment on such things or to argue on philosophy but from whatever I have seen in my life, I don’t think I become happy with cheeriness or merriment around me. There are very few times when I felt happy because everyone else around me was singing and dancing in joy. People go nuts on Holi but I never really felt that way, at least because of surroundings. On the other hand, sadness is definitely a state of mind. You feel so sad at times for no apparent reason and no matter how hard you try, you just can’t get over that feeling. I might be sounding depressed or pessimist here but I am sure everyone of us must have felt that way at one point or another. <br /><br />2 days ago, around 11 PM, I was trying to finish off some work when my bother called. The very seeing of his name on phone made me a little uncomfortable coz he is a typical 9_PM_IN_BED_9.05_PM_ASLEEP_9.10_PM_DREAMING guy. I picked up the phone somewhat nervously, hoping all is well. Mr. M passed away, he said. I felt a sudden depressing chill inside. We talked for few minutes before disconnecting and then I tried to focus back on work… but well.. just couldn’t. I am usually a very level headed guy, not often on and off emotional roller-coasters but at that time, I don't know what got into me and all I could do was think…<br /><br />I didn't know Mr. M personally. In fact I had never even met or seen him. He was my dad’s friend from his walking club. After my dad shifted here, he was a little depressed and alone, missing his friends and our old home in Bikaner. Mr. M and some other guys from his age group formed a small club and they used to sit and chat in mornings and evenings. Talking about this and that, sharing experiences of life, treatments, challenges with new age phones and laptops and what not. I knew Mr. M from my dad’s stories of this club. He was a widower with kids settled abroad and him trying to find happiness and company with friends like dad. Day before he passed away Mr. M, Dad and some other friends went to Jaipur Literature Festival and he was having good time eating street food and all… and the next day it was over… just like that… <br /><br />He used to live alone in the next building to us. In evening he felt some uneasiness and called his brother. In around 15 minutes when he (brother) came, the door was latched. He somehow managed to open the door and by the time got in, Mr. M was no more. <br /><br />I am at loss for words to describe how I felt when I heard this whole incident. I mean, the guy had the whole family, kids, grand kids, brothers and everyone.. but when the time came, he took his last breath all alone. No near ones or even a stranger in sight. 4 walls and nothing else.. People say that your whole life flashes through your eyes in such times. What Mr. M would have seen at that time.. his young age, job, marriage, kids, grand kids and yet no one in sight. What pain.. what anguish.. what loneliness.. what emptiness he must have felt at that time. It took just 15 minutes may be but what he might have suffered and gone through in those 15 minutes. What he might have felt at that time. He might have felt thirsty but no one to pass a glass of water. May be he had some medicines from prescription but no one to pass those medicines.. May be this was destiny and this is how he was supposed to go but this is just not fair. Any human being doesn't deserve this. Live life for others.. work like a dog, save to make your kids’ future, to settle them, get them married, buy a house and then die alone in that house. With nothing but emptiness!<br /><br />It has been 2 days but I am still not able to get past this feeling. if this is why we humans live.. this is why we have kids.. work.. savings… so that we can come to an end like this? <br /><br />RIP Mr. M and may the good lord comfort your family! <br /><br /><br /><br /></div>
Scattered Thoughts...http://www.blogger.com/profile/15905369958934752147noreply@blogger.com8tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8203371022505778917.post-2163794410587559812013-05-07T22:48:00.000+05:302013-05-07T22:49:42.352+05:30The bitter truth...<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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You read
about such things all the time but you don’t realize how depressing this can be
until it happens to you. You see people around, fighting with same sentiments but
you don’t comprehend the horror at that time. Though it is
the eternal truth, bound to happen but somehow we tend to believe that we might
be an exception.<br />
<br />
I had a similar reassuring feeling about myself. In fact I was
not even thinking about it. And then… one day… it was there. Just like that. I so
couldn’t frigging believe that it has happened to me. I mean, come on! It can’t
be real!! It is not the time but oh well… if only… if only someone else thought
the same way! I suddenly felt bitter in mouth, uttered some chosen profanities
but it was there. Whether or not I liked it, this was the truth.</div>
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<o:p></o:p></div>
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<br /></div>
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People told
me not to do anything otherwise it is gonna strike back with double force but
if only.. if only I was such a good listener. I decided to take matters in my
hands and thought everything is good for now. As a matter of fact, it was good
for few days and then today, the inevitable happened. It was back. Yeah, with
double force! I guess it is time to admit and swallow the bitter truth. <o:p></o:p></div>
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<br /></div>
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So here I am
folks… with two shiny grey hair!! <o:p></o:p></div>
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<br /></div>
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Do I hear mumblings
that what is the fuss about it? <o:p></o:p></div>
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<br /></div>
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True! If it
was on head, I would have been pretty cool about it but the place those bastards
chose to make their playground! Back of my right ear. This is just urghh.. so creepy.
I find myself touching my ear 10 times a day and well.. let us just say, it is
not a nice feeling.<o:p></o:p></div>
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For whatever
it is worth for, there is a brighter side, or so I have been told. The other
day I was talking to someone and he said that hair behind the ear means wealth…
a shit load actually. Well, I better be diving in a big ass pool stuffed with $
like Uncle Scrooge pretty soon otherwise it feels more like “ed” instead “ge” in
that uncle’s name!<o:p></o:p></div>
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Cheers!<o:p></o:p></div>
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Scattered Thoughts...http://www.blogger.com/profile/15905369958934752147noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8203371022505778917.post-1254134885498496122012-06-09T22:20:00.000+05:302012-06-09T22:26:22.202+05:30No wonder!<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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On my office
desk, I have a large external monitor connected to my laptop. Thanks to MS
Window’s extended desktop feature, it doesn’t duplicate my laptop’s screen and
instead lets me decide which of the apps will be opened on which screen. So basically
I can keep working on my laptop screen while the other monitor may or may not
show any windows at all. <o:p></o:p></div>
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So one day,
this smartass fellow came to my office. He is this really annoying guy but I
somehow need to tolerate him for reasons better not revealed here… for one,
that will change the direction of the story and second, I still want him to
believe that I don’t, for the lack of a better word, dislike him that much.<o:p></o:p></div>
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<a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-6I4cShnU9MY/T9N-nGkqrTI/AAAAAAAABVA/2jbfenfIV5M/s1600/Monitor+Blog.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="166" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-6I4cShnU9MY/T9N-nGkqrTI/AAAAAAAABVA/2jbfenfIV5M/s320/Monitor+Blog.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
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Okay, coming
back to the story. Recently when I changed my laptop, it came with a <span style="color: blue;"><a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Vaio" target="_blank"><span style="color: blue;">“VAIO”</span></a>
</span>wallpaper which shows nothing but a gray logo on jet black screen. Thus if
there are no open programs on second monitor, it just shows the
wallpaper. The intellect of intellectuals asks.. hey, how did you get this logo
painted on the monitor? Is it spray paint? Plus, don’t you find it irritating
and distracting when you actually want to use this monitor? It took me a second to realize that he is thinking
that I got this logo painted on the monitor itself to boast off or show some
kind of fanboyism to Sony, but when I did, I was actually dumbfounded.<o:p></o:p></div>
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You might think,
how innocent! It is not that big of deal… but well, it is… The gentleman in
question is an engineering degree holder in nothing less but computer science…
claims to be among the toppers in class and after that… yes, hold your breath… went
to <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Indian_Institutes_of_Management" target="_blank"><span style="color: blue;">IIM</span></a>. <o:p></o:p></div>
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Not so
innocent question.. right? It’s stupid and to be more precise, awful. Dude, as a computer
engineer you are supposed to know at least this little something called wallpapers.<o:p></o:p></div>
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To be
honest, I long back stopped thinking about the country’s future, coz well, it
ain’t that bright… but this!! I guess <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Kapil_Sibal" target="_blank"><span style="color: blue;">Mr.Sibal</span></a> and their stooges don’t need to try that hard, coz the whole lot of this
new generation is with them in the mission. <o:p></o:p></div>
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Cheers!<o:p></o:p></div>
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</div>Scattered Thoughts...http://www.blogger.com/profile/15905369958934752147noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8203371022505778917.post-26348351654148673942012-02-26T22:13:00.002+05:302012-03-03T19:37:37.517+05:30Yet another Debacle!<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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Technology is not really the strong suit for the people where we live in. We usually joke that Bikaner gets something after 7-8 years of the general launch and that too, when we are being fairly optimist. I always used to think, things are changing for good but oh dear lord.. are they! I learnt the latest lesson in a rather harsh way but well, nothing new about it. And of course, any learning is good learning so what the heck!<br />
<br />
A few days back, a client of ours sent us a Blu-ray player for a project we are doing for him. I was by chance in the local video store next day to check on some titles and I casually enquired if they had something on Blu-ray?<br />
<br />
The guy simply stared at me. Starting from face and then slowly moving the gaze from top to down with a puzzled look as if judging his response or trying to find the right expression.<br />
<br />
This is odd, I thought, I am not asking for some classified material! Guess he didn’t really get it so I tried to make it easier for him and repeated the request slowly.. B L U R A Y? do you have something on it?<br />
<br />
He still maintained this creepy look on his face, looked around and then a very low tone.. you need Blue films? You should not ask for it like this in public.<br />
<br />
Suddenly everyone around was staring at me…<br />
<br />
<i>(Those who are not from India, must be wondering, so well, <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Blue_film" target="_blank"><span style="color: blue;">Blue Film</span></a> is what they call softcore porn here)</i><br />
<br />
Shit! I said in disgust. Forget it... and marched out of the library leaving the innocent guy wondering what he did wrong!<br />
<br />
Later that day, I was talking to the client who sent this Blu-ray and telling him the experience.<br />
<br />
S – You know the BR we sent is 3D.<br />
Me – Yeah, so<br />
S – Nah, just that, I don’t think I would like to watch porn in 3D<br />
Me – haha.. why.. have you ever tried it? You won’t know till you try it!<br />
S – No. Can’t say I have.. I would be just too worried, what is coming at my face!<br />
Me – Oh Gross! Lets leave it at that.<br />
S – Agreed!<br />
<br />
Cheers!<br />
<div>
<br /></div>
</div>Scattered Thoughts...http://www.blogger.com/profile/15905369958934752147noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8203371022505778917.post-5363701579261680662012-01-29T02:40:00.007+05:302012-01-29T16:10:58.529+05:30Aiyo Jaya Nagaraa…<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
<div>
<i><a href="http://soundcloud.com/maheepg/meru/s-5JAMC" target="_blank">Welcome to Meru. India’s premiere cab service. Dear customer! As the state government has revised the fare for radio taxies in Bangaluru with effect from 2nd Nov. 2011, each kilometer charge has been increased nominally to Rupees 17 and 50 Paise from Rupees 15. The minimum fare………………. Blah Blah Blah.......... Currently we are in process of recalibration of meters in all our cabs, which will take a few days so kindly pay the charges as per the printed receipt…………... Blah Blah Blah… </a></i></div>
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<br /></div>
<div>
Okay, if you are still with me, I take you have nothing better to do <s>in your life</s><strike> or</strike> at least in the present moment. This also concludes that your reading it further won’t make any collateral damage to country’s progress per se. So here goes! </div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
So my dear jobless friends! These stupid lines are played to you in slowest possible pace by those ludicrous machine voices whenever you try to book a cab in Bangalore. Oh I get it its important, but dude.. if someone is booking a cab 5 times a day, don’t you think there should be at least an option to skip this crapola and move on with the actual business? Whatever happened to the commonsense? </div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
Anyway, so last week when I was in Bangalore, I booked a cab with these smart Meru people to be picked up from Hotel SFO where I was meeting a friend. I didn’t know the exact location and I told them its Jaya Nagar or JP Nagar. I have no clue how they did it but within 5 minutes a cab was there. The guy even called me that he is waiting outside (though my number was STD for him). Quite impressive! Huh? Err.. not so fast, coz that’s what I did wrong…</div>
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The very next day, I was in SFO once again to meet the same friend. With the pleasant experience day before, I called Meru again. Guy confirmed the booking - Yes, Mr. Gupta, Hotel SFO, JP Nagar. (I think they picked it from last night or whatever)</div>
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<i>In 10 minutes or so, there is a missed call on my cell. I don’t usually call back to these asinine missed callers but some instinct tells me that its my cab driver so I decide to call.</i></div>
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<br /></div>
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Me – Yes,</div>
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The guy other side – Saar, this is Satya from Meru. Where is your hotel?</div>
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Me – Well… I don’t know.</div>
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Satya – Saar! is it Jaya Nagar or JP Nagar?</div>
<div>
Me – I wish I could help you my friend but I really don’t know… Why don’t you ask your call center? They sent someone last night as well. </div>
<div>
Satya – You told them its JP Nagar</div>
<div>
Me – No, I told them its either JP Nagar or Jaya Nagar. That too yesterday! Today your smartass call center guy said its JP Nagar</div>
<div>
Satya – So saar, its Jaya Nagar or JP Nagar?</div>
<div>
Me – I don’t think you are listening buddy but let me try again.. I D O N T K N O W </div>
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Satya – But saar…. </div>
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Me – Oh Come on? Why don’t you get it? How do I know where the hell it is! I am a stranger in this city.. You speak to your call center and figure that out.</div>
<div>
Satya – Jaya Nag…</div>
<div>
Me – Oh crap.. hang on a tick. Let me take your call center on line</div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
<i>So I call their office and yes, I go through trauma of listening to that 72 seconds crap and then they connect me with a representative. Don’t worry Mr. Gupta.. it will be arranged. I will speak to the driver. </i></div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
<i>Another 5 minutes. Missed call again... I call back</i></div>
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Satya – Saar, this is Satya! Is it Jaya Nagar or JP Nagar</div>
<div>
Me – Are you insane? I just spoke to your call center and the guy said its all arranged. </div>
<div>
Satya – But Saar its Jaya Nagar or… </div>
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<br /></div>
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<i>By that time, my patience is running out. My friend (who’s from US and has never seen this kind of crazy lot in past) is laughing his lungs off.</i></div>
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Me – Dude! I don’t know.. and I don’t care.. you figure it out.. If you can, all good. If you can’t.. even better.. Cancel the damn booking but just don’t call me again.</div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
Another 2 minutes, missed call again.. OMG! This is not happening to me.. left with no choices.. I dial again to their call center and yes, go through the damn recorded voice and by the time an agent responds, I am ready to explode. So I describe the situation to him with various colorful adjectives and then finally after 30 minutes or so cab arrives. </div>
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End of trauma you will think.. but nope! I reach back to my hotel and Mr. Satya tells me that I will have to pay 50 bucks as convenience charge coz it was beyond regular 35 minutes and thus as per rules (Yes, go to start of post once again)</div>
<div>
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Me - Are you insane! What is it with you guys? If this is how you guys get your kicks in Bangalore? Screwing around with the innocent passengers? </div>
<div>
Satya – Grinning.. but Saar</div>
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<br /></div>
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I swear I could totally bang his head to the hood but my gut told me its not a wise thing to do, especially when you are not on home turf.. so well.. </div>
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You will think. I must be done with Meru by then… but nope! What do I do with my kind, sympathetic and generous heart!! It must be one bad day and one crazy driver I thought and in an impulse booked a cab again for airport transfer… </div>
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<b><i>to be continued…. </i></b></div>
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In the meantime, advise to Meru – <b><span style="font-size: large;">GPS! Ever heard of that?</span></b></div>
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PS – I see that I left my last post with "to be continued" and its after almost 2 years that I am back on blog. So yeah.. I do understand my words are not very credible but this time the story will be continued ;)</div>
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Cheers!</div>
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</div>Scattered Thoughts...http://www.blogger.com/profile/15905369958934752147noreply@blogger.com13tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8203371022505778917.post-26799192188995576572010-03-08T02:02:00.004+05:302010-03-08T12:16:21.085+05:30Beware! Bozos on the loose<div>Have you ever noticed how many jerks are rambling open in this world who should have never actually been allowed to come out of the primary schools. They will look like our regular next door guy but with a catch, and that is, they never actually came across the basics of a civilized society. They wander open in streets threatening to humanity and can be found everywhere without putting in any major efforts. If you ask me, now when they are already out and probably too old for schools, only other suitable place that comes to mind is perhaps a zoo.</div><div><br /></div><div>The subjects here can be divided in several categories and as it will not be possible to cover them all in a single post, I will start with a generic category which is usually found on roads. You don’t really need to hunt for them, count 1, 2, and hey presto! There they are… honking with all their might. No left, no right, no rules, no regulations, just honk honk honk. To quench my never ending thirst for erudition, I decided to interview some serious gamers in the field with just one question, why do people honk! So here we go…</div><div><br /></div><div><i>Subject 1 – 20 something, nicely trimmed goatee, wearing a leather jacket, pierced ear, expensive shades and even expensive bike</i></div><div><br /></div><div>Style uncle style! Gotta noticed by chicks, <i>aap nai samjhoge baba, tez gadi chalane padta hai, ladki log ko impress karna padta hai</i> (you won’t understand old bag, need to drive fast, need to impress the gals)</div><div><br /></div><div><i>Subject 2 – in his middle age, accelerating an old <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bajaj_Chetak"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#3366FF;">Bajaj Chetak</span></a> like doing 120 miles per hour but actually standing still on a red signal, finger firmly glued to horn button.</i></div><i><div><br /></div></i><div><i>Puzzled.. </i>am I? heh heh!!</div><div><br /></div><div><i>Subject 3 – from some nearby village, in a <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/File:Mahindra_Doppelkabine_2.jpg"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#3366FF;">Mahindra Utility</span></a> overloaded with grain bags, milk cans and 2 buffalos. Wearing Pagdi, dhoti and kurta (Turban and traditional Indian dress) </i></div><i><div><br /></div></i><div><i>Tanne ke? Mhari gadi, mhara horan, tanne ke panchayant hon laag ri hai? Aur ib side main ho le, varna mar mara javega </i> (None of your bloody business. My car, my horn, who are you to ask? And BTW, stay out of the way or will be flattened here only.)</div><div><br /></div><div><i>Subject 4 – a truck driver on highway, no traffic but still screaming with the pressure horn.</i></div><div><br /></div><div><i>Gadi ke peeche dekho saab</i> (look at the back of truck sir)</div><div><br /></div><div>In colorful letters it had written -</div><div><br /></div><div><i>Hum bhi banna chahte the sangeetkar, par duniya luta baithe</i></div><i><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal; "><i>Kismat kuch aise palti, lorry chala baithe</i> </span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal; "><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal; ">(wanted to be a musician but lost everything, life took a steep turn and ended up as a truck driver)</span></div></i><div><br /></div><div><i>Bus saab is liye ye horn se he music baja baja ke khush ho lete hai</i> (so sir, I try to please myself by playing some music with this horn)</div><div><br /></div><div>Then suddenly some loud folk music echoed in the air, I tried to figure out where it was coming from and saw a camel-cart on the far end of road. As it came nearer I asked the villager riding on it. Hey what’s wrong, why this loud music?</div><div><br /></div><div><i>kya kare saab, hamari gadi main horn nai hai na, to bus ye gana baje ke he khush ho lete hai.</i></div><div><br /></div><div>(What to do sir, no horn in my camel-cart so trying to please myself by this music only)</div><div><br /></div><div style="text-align: right;"><i><b>To be contd..</b></i></div><div style="text-align: right;"><i><b>(with a different category of bozos next time)</b></i></div><div style="text-align: right;"><br /></div><div>Till then, keep honking… </div><div><br /></div><div>Cheers!</div><div><br /></div>Scattered Thoughts...http://www.blogger.com/profile/15905369958934752147noreply@blogger.com31tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8203371022505778917.post-70531546181946140622010-03-02T03:47:00.003+05:302010-03-02T03:57:03.518+05:30Happy _______ Blah blah blah…<div><div>Okay fellas, so it is <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Holi"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#3366FF;">Holi</span></a>, and by the grace of all those messaging aficionados, my cell inbox is full once again with all those colorful, loving, emotional and heartily good wishes. Now I really appreciate that and I mean it, but there is a small problem, literally insignificant, and that is, I don’t know the names of more than half of these well-wishers. I know am sounding discourteous as usual but can’t help it and I need to ask this one question – WHY DON’T YOU GUYS WRITE YOUR NAME IN THE END OF MESSAGE? Do you think just because you have my number in your phonebook, I will also have your number stored? And hey, let us get this straight. I don’t have any misconception about myself so let us not fake it. I know, most of you have my number stored only coz either you are too lazy to manage and clean up the phone book or you simply don’t know that cell phones also have a delete contact option. So willingly or unwillingly, on every occasion, which India has in tons, you simply select all and send the so called best wishes. You guys have no clue, what a herculean task it is for someone like me who don’t have a phonebook at all. However, today, to make an exception, I decided to dig through my old phonebook backups and guess what I found – Among others, I also got best wishes from -</div><div><ul><li>Someone who literally threatened me in our last meeting with words <i>“dekhna aap”,</i> (You will see), which was around 7 years back.</li><li>In-charge of banquet hall in our wedding.</li><li>Some corrupt embezzling officer to whom I spoke once for an order (in my previous business) and the deal didn’t materialize coz apart from money, he asked for some xxx CDs (internet was not that common those days). Again some 6 years back.</li><li>An old crook customer who didn’t pay the final invoice and stopped picking up phones, replying to messages and ended up in bad debts.</li></ul>Then there is a guy who never stays in touch otherwise but will always send a message on festivals. As obvious, I don’t bother to reply so after 4 days he will call personally to tell me, <i>yaar maheep, bade aadmi ho gaye ho, message ka reply bhi nai karte?</i> (Maheep, you have become a big-shot or what, you don’t even reply to my messages?). Urgh.. come on buddy, get a life. The same fellow, met me once after marriage and greeted with – <i>“Yaar shadi main bulaya he nai? Bulate to kuch dekar he jate!!</i> (Hey, you dint invite me in your wedding, If nothing, I would have given some gift). Now what could I say.. so.. wateve!!</div><div><br /></div><div>Anyways, I have this special festive offer for all you guys, instead of sending a message next time, please call me and I will tell you how to delete a contact from your phonebook. <i>Muft, muft, muft!!</i> (Free, free, free!!)</div><div><br /></div><div>Cheers!</div><div><br /></div><div><br /></div></div>Scattered Thoughts...http://www.blogger.com/profile/15905369958934752147noreply@blogger.com28tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8203371022505778917.post-72357607005995092412010-02-16T15:36:00.004+05:302010-02-16T16:35:00.850+05:30Christa’s Wobble, Gobble, Goggally Goup whatever..<div>A week or so ago, I noticed that the silicone is wearing in my shower. While I have been trying to do everything to avoid having to repair the shower it has come time to do something with a bit of black mold behind the silicone.</div><div><br /></div><div>So I make the inevitable trip to Home Depot (not sure if you have one of these stores but if you don’t they will come…invest in them but don’t ever shop there). I ask one of the many ‘helpful’ people there who simply tell me to remove the silicon, clean it really well and replace it. All you need is a few simple supplies and it’s a piece of cake. Cake I think, yeah right. I have no choice so I buy the simply supplies and walk out the door.</div><div><br /></div><div>I start hacking away at the old silicone around the shower but I of course, cannot get in between the glass and the silicone on the glass door. So I again, make another trip to Home Depot (aka hell) this is the inevitable Home Depot scam #1 – you ALWAYS end up going back and forth because they ALWAYS forget to mention something, don’t tell you how much you need, or something doesn’t work. I chat with some ‘helpful’ staff who don’t know what I am talking about – I’m smart enough to take some photos (this is a must for any Home Depot question because they never know what you are talking about when it’s close to lunch) and they tell me that I have to remove the glass. Removing the glass no longer sounds simple. I drive home and start taking apart the door to remove the glass. Of course, the bolts will not undo (this is Home Dept Scam #2 – the necessary bolts never unscrew). I drive back to Home Depot to buy some <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/WD-40">WD-40</a>. A few hours later, the glass is amazingly in one piece and I now have the silicon trim. I am proud! Again, I drive back to the minimum wage workers at Home Depot hoping for an easy solution and show them the piece I need – after going around the entire store, waiting for people to come back from their break and being passed on from one department to the next, I am eventually told that they don’t sell any bathroom trim pieces (Home Depot Scam #4 – they never have the pieces you require but are happy to sell you an entire new kit). Now, I am angry with myself for getting in so deep and not listening to my gut that this entire idea was stupid and it would be best to let the shower completely mold until it fell apart. So the next day, I spend a good chunk of it calling all around the city looking for a replacement. I find one place where the man actually seems to know what I’m talking about.. Naturally, they are located across town, a 40 minute drive each way with no traffic and over two big bridges which at any given time could have an accident on them. The next day, I do the trip, find the place only to be told they don’t have it in clear. Oh well, black, clear, whatever. Plus, I figure in the future, no one will see any black mold because it will be hidden in the black trim. </div><div><br /></div><div>Come home and finally think that I can start the ‘putting it back together stage’ except I need one final run to Home Depot for some new screws. Of course, after scowling through 500 little boxes of screws with most of them meant for 7 foot apes, I find someone who works in the Department (yes, Home Depot Scam #428 where people can’t actually help a customer in another department) only to be told that they don’t have the ones I require. The man suggests I visit a specialty store not too far away. I finally get the screws and return home. It’s now taken me a half of a day to get a piece of plastic and eight screws. I should have just bought an entire new shower for $1,000.</div><div><br /></div><div>So finally I begin the new silicone installation, I have a silicon gun, gloves to ensure the stuff doesn’t get on my hands, etc. etc. An hour or so later, I have one side panel on – it looks pretty good. Then I realize that I can’t install the bottom plate with the side panel on. I have to remove it. So I remove it, go to remove all of the silicon and of course, cleaning it makes a huge mess. Now, I’m not happy. I spend three more hours removing the new silicone. There is a big mess in the washroom, in the kitchen and everywhere in between because the silicon sticks to everything including myself, my clothes and socks. </div><div> </div><div>This brings me to today. With another trip to Home Depot to buy more ‘supplies’ including another bottle of silicone and gloves, I begin again. All and all I do a pretty good job. I follow the instructions of putting a line of tape, putting a bead of silicone. No one mentions for how long I am to leave the tape and silicon on but I do large portions and remove the tape and for the side panels it appears to be working. However, on the bottom there is a bit of a gap between the silicone and the bottom panel which is obviously crucial to ensure the wood behind the showers doesn’t get wet. So I push the silicone down. It looks like crap. I call my Dad, he tells me to get rid of the gloves, lick my finger and just run it along the bottom. Hmmm I was told not to get it on my hands but now my Dad is telling me to lick my finger….it doesn’t sound so healthy… but at this point, I don’t care. I can eat a bit of silicone or go insane removing it all again and tossing it over the balcony and ending up in jail. I work away for several more hours thinking about how I am going to explain why a certain plan isn’t done and figure someone might laugh hard enough from my stupidity to forgive me for a day or two. I work away while thinking about business ideas and the irony of improvement business. ‘Home Hardware - Home of the Handy man” If I could find one there who would do the job I’d shop there but wait, they don’t shop there either. Home Depot’s slogan ‘More Saving. More Doing” Yeah, apparently opportunity cost aren’t calculated in this equation - you save $5 and spent a week of your time. There’s a bargain. So eventually, it looks pretty good but I don’t feel well. I feel nauseous! </div><div><br /></div><div>I get up and try to figure out how to put the door on but can’t remember how it was done and logically, the door holder and the glass metal doesn’t seem to make sense. The door is now sitting against my dining room chair in the washroom. Perfect! </div><div><br /></div><div>With several hours sitting on the floor of the shower installing silicon, how about a ‘Dog House Eliminator’ App – it’ll remind you of events and give you ideas of what to buy and what’s expected? </div><div><br /></div><div>Perhaps tomorrow, I might get the door on. </div><div><br /></div><div>Cheers!</div><div><br /></div><div><i>Now if you guys are wondering that narrator of the story does not look like me, you have guessed it right. Meet Christa, she is a very good friend and business associate, lives in Canada and apart from fixing showers, do wild life photography, play with numbers (accounts) and of course tolerate me to make some of the retarded product ideas come true. </i></div><div><br /></div><div><i><b>Edit</b> - I think I should have posted it in two parts but when I was reading it, I didn’t really realize its that long. Anyways.. read it on your own risk.. oops.. I think disclaimer should come before the post..but then.. whateve!! </i></div><div><br /></div>Scattered Thoughts...http://www.blogger.com/profile/15905369958934752147noreply@blogger.com15tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8203371022505778917.post-58343027545371571022010-02-01T03:27:00.004+05:302010-02-04T13:02:00.001+05:30Insomniac Thoughts...<div>Its 3.00 AM in night. Don’t feel like sleeping. Well, I tried but no such luck. Feeling like writing.. hmm… but what? My mind is wandering in all directions. I suppose, germs in my brain are some extra active and restless kindda souls so lots of churning as usual. I can probably work. There is a mail I was supposed to reply 2 days back but at this time am not able to think straight so not a good idea. If she (client) gets to know that I chose to write a blog post over her work, I am a dead man. But still, not in the mood right now. You know what, lucky are people who fall in sleep immediately after getting into bed. Wifey is a good example who sleeps like a drunk. The moment she closes her eyes, she is asleep. Then there is me who fights with himself every night to slumber and finally when it happens, no more than 2-3 hours.</div><div><br /></div><div>BTW, have you guys encountered the jerks when trying to withdraw money from ATM? These ATMs are supposed to make our lives easy but most of the time end up making it all the more miserable. Thinking again about it, its not the poor ATM, its us, we the people. Anyways, I suppose, there is nothing else to write, so let me try to classify some popular categories for the dumbasses found in ATMs</div><div><br /></div><div>1) Slow and steady – They firmly believe in living life leisurely. Even if the queue outside is a mile long, they will enter in the booth as if walking in the garden. Spend another 3-4 minutes in finding the card in pocket or bag or whatever secret place they choose to store their valuable possession. Needless to say, they will read each and every instruction/step on screen and then carefully make a choice. Once the money pops out, another 2-3 minutes to count it twice or thrice. Just in case the dumb machine has decided to cheat on them. By the time they come out, most of the people are either calling names, or left in search for other booth or postponed their withdrawal.</div><div><br /></div><div>2) United we are strong – When someone actually thought of these machines, they imagined of a single person operating it and thus designed the booth to accommodate only 1 person. But then there are few shitheads who just don’t get it. This kind of people will be found stuffed in ATMs unless there is no more room even for air. I have no fucking clue what exactly they do inside or why do they need to go inside in company but when you are alone and they are at least 5, its not a good idea to ask. Is it?</div><div><br /></div><div>3) Hey its Sunday, let us train the family – I once happened to stuck outside of an ICICI ATM where some jerk was trying to teach his kid on how to operate this miraculous piece of modern machinery which eats your card and pops out money. For first few minutes I didn’t get what exactly is going on but then the smartass started with the 2nd kid and I literally lost it. I barged inside and he was like.. hey don’t you know, you are supposed to wait outside when someone is already in. What happened next is enough material for another post but trust me it was not nice :)</div><div><br /></div><div>4) I need to use it now, I mean right now – These people somehow missed the primary classes when they were supposed to be taught about things like waiting, queue, patience etc. They will come straight in, totally ignoring your presence inside and start staring as if you are committing some kind of crime. Best part is, most of them are well educated or at least look like that. Try to question them and all you will get is... its so hot outside or hey I am not gonna steal your password or money and so on. Oh what did you say? Guard? Come on, its so hot and thus he is already in, resting on the floor in comfort of AC.</div><div><br /></div><div>5) Oh what was my PIN once again – I don’t know why the hell banks made this whole process so difficult? I mean 4 bloody numbers for the PIN? Are you nuts or what? How are we lesser mortals supposed to remember such a long and difficult combination? Oh yeah, let us do one thing, write it on the back of the card itself. So these morons will insert the card, attempt 1 or 2 wrong passwords but then its so damn difficult. Hence cancel the transaction, card comes out, check the PIN, insert again. Finally ATM surrenders, money comes out and bingo!! We are done. </div><div><br /></div><div>Hey I managed to pass almost 15 minutes and this can go on but I am supposed to pick up mom n dad from station in morning 5.00. I have got almost one and half hour so better I try to sleep again… good night folks. </div><div><br /></div><div>Cheers!!</div><div><br /></div>Scattered Thoughts...http://www.blogger.com/profile/15905369958934752147noreply@blogger.com21tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8203371022505778917.post-32937851609260475652010-01-25T22:47:00.003+05:302010-01-25T22:53:30.275+05:30You are hired...<div><div><div><div>Few days back we published an advert in newspaper for developers and some other posts like content writing and online marketing. During the process of scrutinizing the right candidates, I also got the pleasure of talking to some real gems. I don’t think it will be the only reason if I am found in a mental asylum in couple of years but there will be a huge contribution to these adverts which we keep on publishing on regular basis. So, here goes the collector’s edition of these not so rare gems. </div><div><br /></div><div><b>Candidate 1 </b></div><div><br /></div><div><i>Without bothering to introduce or wasting time on hi hello</i></div><div><br /></div><div>C - Is it xxx-xxx-xxx </div><div>Me – Yes</div><div>C – So what is the profile of your company?</div><div>Me – and what is it regarding?</div><div>C – You have this advert in paper for job requirements.</div><div>Me – Well, in that case, don’t you think, I should be the one asking for this question?</div><div>C – Umm, I am xyz and I have completed my engineering and... <i>some blah blah blah</i></div><div>C – May I know who am I speaking to?</div><div>Me – Maheep</div><div>C – So Pradeep why.. </div><div>Me – M A H E E P</div><div>C – Yeah Sandeep</div><div>Me – <i>cutting in between...</i> Mail me your resume and we will see. </div><div>C - Why don’t you text me your address and I will bring it in person and then we can speak further.</div><div>Me - <i>Why don’t you shove it up in your… </i> arsehole</div><div><br /></div><div><b>Candidate 2 </b></div><div><br /></div><div>C – Hi, my name is XYZ and I am a network engineer in YYY but I am looking to change the profile and wanted to know more about your institute and courses you are offering.</div><div>Me – Where exactly our advert says that we run an institute and offer courses?</div><div>C – It says .Net, C++ and all that</div><div>Me – Yeah, but if you put in a little more effort, it also says we need software developers.</div><div>C – Oh! Is that so? You are looking for software engineers and it’s not about training?</div><div>Me – Precisely</div><div>C – Umm, you have mentioned .Net in the advert so that should be for network and in that case my current profile will suit you.</div><div>Me – What did you say? You are an engineer? </div><div>C – Yeah</div><div>Me – Computer Engineer?</div><div>C - Yeah</div><div>Me – Ever heard of Google?</div><div>C – Yeah</div><div>Me – <i>Then use it shithead, to find the meaning of .Net</i></div><div><br /></div><div><b>Candidate 3</b></div><div><br /></div><div><i>in email</i></div><div><br /></div><div>In reference to your advert for the post of software developers, I have sent my resume on xx-xxx. This is to remind you, if it meets your expectations, call me. </div><div><br /></div><div>Thanks</div><div><br /></div><div>XYZ</div><div><br /></div><div><i>So what are you? Godfather? Chota Shakeel? </i></div><div><br /></div><div>Mind it, I am not exaggerating. It’s copy-paste from the Godfather’s email and same with the phone conversations. I think I have all the reasons to feel blessed that I didn’t attend all of them. Otherwise… god save me…</div><div><br /></div><div>That reminds me of my first meeting with my father-in-law who didn’t have a clue about software industry and quite naively he asked. So son, where do you procure your raw material from? So folks this is our raw material, man power, and this is how we procure them.</div><div><br /></div><div>Cheers!!</div><div><br /></div></div></div></div>Scattered Thoughts...http://www.blogger.com/profile/15905369958934752147noreply@blogger.com17tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8203371022505778917.post-30088688179894358512010-01-16T23:07:00.003+05:302010-01-16T23:13:19.060+05:30What next!!<div>Couple of years back when our beloved <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ekta_Kapoor"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#3366FF;">Ekta Kapoor</span></a> stormed the Indian television with her shoddy and sappy soaps, I used to think, nah, this cannot really work. Its just a time being phase which will fade out pretty soon. I don’t need to mention, how very wrong I was. Quite soon every channel had at least 20 creepy shows of their own. All they needed was some wanna be actors, an out of work sound engineer to record thud-dish-dhum-thud sounds and someone with Parkinson’s to operate the camera in full zoom 10 times in a row on the face or eyes or legs of those so called actors. Rest assured that whole bunch of dumbass people will be watching them religiously to shed tears and rock the TRPs. </div><div><br /></div><div>Then came the reality shows time. I don’t remember watching even a single show but it was very in. At that time, I didn’t bet on their success or how long it will go but thought it couldn’t go worse than this. Sigh… time proved me wrong once again and there came so called laughter shows. The only idea of humor for those perverts was cross dressing and cracking cheap jokes with some pre-paid guests to laugh on each and every word uttered by those gender-benders. </div><div><br /></div><div>Now when they already had the rock bottom touched, what next? Come, welcome to the era of <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Perfect_Bride"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#3366FF;">“The Perfect Bride”</span></a> and <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Rakhi_Ka_Swayamwar"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#3366FF;">“Rakhi Ka Swaymvar”</span></a>. By then I had already stopped watching TV and worrying about their standards but I used to feel so irritated and frustrated that I was like screaming if I saw someone watching that shit. Come on people, you can’t bloody blame the producers coz its us who make these shows hit and invite them to line up with all the more shitty stuff. However, this is a weird world and all the more weird is the breed of TV producers so now we have “Raaj Pichale Janam Ka”. I am not sure how can someone in right state of his/her mind tolerate this hogwash but as it shows lots of people do stomach and even believe this trash. In past few days I have seen several people expressing their urge to be part of this show so guess the producers are right once again. </div><div><br /></div><div>As they say, it’s the consumer who drives the market, not the other way around so its no use my grumbling here. Let us be prepared to watch porn shows, beer bar fights, go-go dance competitions and sorts in near future. As far as TRPs are rocking and money is rolling from SMS polls, keep em coming… </div><div><br /></div><div>Cheers!!</div><div><br /></div>Scattered Thoughts...http://www.blogger.com/profile/15905369958934752147noreply@blogger.com13tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8203371022505778917.post-41044033751799520622010-01-10T21:32:00.003+05:302010-01-11T18:19:45.956+05:30Whereabouts, vacation log, cuckoo birds tales etc.<div>Okay, so finally I am back from a disastrous vacation in Sikkim, alive and now after almost 2 weeks, kicking once again. To be honest, I was not very keen to go in first place but just before the scheduled departure I actually started looking forward to it. Now what happened out there is altogether different story and it vindicated my thoughts about cancelling this. Although it was full of messy shit but there was something else which was truly out of this world. </div><div><br /></div><div>You know there are couples made for each other and then there are those who are not happy with just made for each other, they want a lot more than that and fortunately or unfortunately we had the pleasure of company from one such couple during this trip. I know later or sooner they will be reading this but sorry folks I need to vent out and probably you also need to think again about this, all for the good cause of course.</div><div><br /></div><div>Okay now imagine this – you start a sentence with a so called affectionate pet name and end it with the same pet name. Sounds romantic? Wait… let me give you some real life examples. <i>mota chal na mota</i> (Fatty come fatty), <i>kuchu chal nahane chalet hai kuchu</i> (kuchu let us take bath kuchu), <i>Mota dekh ye mere ko aise kah raha hai Mota</i> (Fatty, see what he is saying Fatty). Now replace these pet names with anything which fancies you and is remotely romantic or affectionate or tender or adoring or erotic in your opinion. Then multiply the instances with 1000. Done? Now for heaven’s sake think about the other people who are with you and willingly or unwillingly listen to all these so called not so sweet nothings. Yes it hurts baby and goddamn it you have those closed rooms where you can cling to each other. You were obviously enjoying it guys, but sorry, PDA is a BIG NO after a certain extent and you guys made it a fucking eyesore.</div><div><br /></div><div>You will talk all the time like this, whether you are in public or private, you can’t keep your bloody neck straight coz it has to rest on the shoulder of your beloved partner. Then, you will make statements like <i>kuchu dhyan se aana kuchu, samne glass pada hai</i> (kuchu, please take care kuchu, there is a glass ahead). Gosh, kuchu has been gifted with his own pair of eyes and those seem to be working perfectly alright so please cut this horseshit. I know, I am not the right person to comment on love, care or romance but can safely say its not bloody love whatsoever. </div><div><br /></div><div>So cuckoo birds, if you are reading this, this is a humble request, please think again about it. You guys are mature, smart and educated people. Stop behaving like you are in your first teenage crush. I know you care for each other but there are other ways to show that. You might be thinking what a rude discourteous ass I am but trust me other people must be having more or less similar feelings about it. So, about time to change guys…</div><div><br /></div><div>Anyways, talking about other disasters, I don’t really want to think again about it coz that will make me want another vacation to come out of the trauma but hey some bulleted points won’t make it worse.</div><div><br /></div><div><ul><li>It took us almost 26 hours to reach there, which included a train journey, a no frill flight and 5 hours on road and when we finally arrived, I figured out, the hotel was altogether different from what we were promised and displayed in the pics on their website.</li><li>We had to search for 1 hour to get a half decent hotel immediately and when we actually found it, they had rooms available for just one night.</li><li>Next morning, hunt for the hotel begun once again and any hotel which we liked had no rooms and we had to settle in a lodge kind of thing for whooping 2000 bucks a day.</li><li>The cuckoo birds were very much interested in sight seeing coz in their opinion when they have spent 50k bucks on vacation, it was to visit places, not to stay in hotel and relax.</li><li>Cuckoo birds also thought, if we have come together, we have to visit those places together so poor me spent most of the time visiting zoos, flower exhibitions and other things while stuffed in the back seat of a <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Maruti_Omni"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#3366FF;">Maruti Van</span></a> (coz the goddamn place don’t have any option where tourists can have a car or bike on self-driven basis)</li><li>We went 40 KM and 10000 feet above from place where we were staying to see a supposedly frozen lake but after actually reaching there, figured out, my refrigerator has more ice than that bloody place. </li><li>When coming back, some jerks demanding for <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Gorkhaland"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#3366FF;">Gorkhaland</span></a> as a separate state, blocked the road and we had to walk 3 KM with all luggages so that we can catch the flight in time.</li><li>Wait, its not over, on the Railway Platform that night, yours truly met an accident and fell down to rail track with the laptop and suitcase coz some moron from Indian railways thought the platform has been inherited to his father and he can do whatever he wants. </li></ul></div><div><br /></div><div>I am still on a rest to actually refresh myself from the ordeal of holidays so don’t expect much for next few days… </div><div><br /></div><div>Cheers!</div><div><br /></div>Scattered Thoughts...http://www.blogger.com/profile/15905369958934752147noreply@blogger.com13tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8203371022505778917.post-23342802704191134182009-12-16T21:02:00.003+05:302009-12-16T22:25:34.569+05:30Alas!<div>It was a usual morning with the usual rants I start as soon as I open the eyes. But then…</div><div><br /></div><div>While getting ready for the office, I chose to decide that me don’t have enough clothes to wear! Everything looked like it was worn yesterday only. The matter needed some immediate attention but looking at the past track record, I was sure to be doomed if taken an action without having a guardian angel to support the cause. </div><div><br /></div><div>Whom should I approach first! Mum seems the safest bet in such cases. Even if she doesn’t support, the chances of her exploding are almost equal to <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Manmohan_Singh"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#3333FF;">Mr. Prime Minister</span></a> daring to say ‘No’ to <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Manmohan_Singh"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#3333FF;">Madam</span></a>. </div><div><br /></div><div>Me - Mom, I think we need to do something about it.</div><div>Mum – about what?</div><div>Me – Umm… I have nothing to wear. Every morning I feel like the beggar on road.</div><div>Mum – hahahha hahahaaaha ha ha haho hohohooh hahahahah</div><div><br /></div><div>You are too funny at times.. ain’t you?</div><div><br /></div><div>Forget it.. I am sure Dad will understand! </div><div><br /></div><div>Me – Dad, have you noticed lately that I wear almost same clothes every day. </div><div>Dad – Hmmm???</div><div><br /></div><div>He is in habit of retorting with this long Hmm when a matter is not worth commenting in his opinion. Of course he listens in the first time itself but responds with this long hmm to make other person understand that they don’t need to discuss it again for a pretty good number of days.</div><div><br /></div><div>But a jerk that I am</div><div><br /></div><div>Me - I don’t have any half decent clothes so…</div><div>Dad – So you mean all we have in that garret is rags, or shall I say cast-offs? Isn’t that a more appropriate word?</div><div><br /></div><div>Oh this store… We have a small room on the mezzanine of first floor which contains nothing but a closet, some shelves and an iron board and wherever you look, you will see... well, my clothes. </div><div><br /></div><div>Now we do have wardrobes but I prefer to use it for other stuff like old books, dirty clothes, extra chargers, junk electronics, scrabble, PSP and 9823457 other things, but that story, some other time.</div><div><br /></div><div>Anyways, I knew where it was going so I turned to wifey but even before I could start</div><div><br /></div><div>She – You know I tried to iron some of your T-shirts yesterday. Do you want me to tell Mom the exact number of Tee’s I did and then the ones which are still pending. </div><div>Me – Oh my god! Whatever happened to those 7 promises you made at the time of marriage? Dint it say something like supporting the husband in good and bad, right or wrong and some crap like that.</div><div>She – waved off! </div><div><br /></div><div>So folks… Here I am, wearing a torn Jeans and faded red Tee. Back to the point from where I started the morning… Rants!</div><div><br /></div><div>Cheers!</div><div><br /></div>Scattered Thoughts...http://www.blogger.com/profile/15905369958934752147noreply@blogger.com12tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8203371022505778917.post-80912901752769889362009-12-14T22:50:00.002+05:302009-12-14T22:51:22.182+05:30You are cordially invited…<p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom:0in;margin-bottom:.0001pt"></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom:0in;margin-bottom:.0001pt">How long does it take to read a news paper these days? To me, reading the local paper is 10 minutes which includes classifieds, tenders, obituaries, name change declaration and yes, the so called news as well. But then there are some stories which would have been more appropriate for some kind of hall of fame section. If not the stories, then characters in the stories certainly are.</p><p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom:0in;margin-bottom:.0001pt"><br /></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom:0in;margin-bottom:.0001pt">Few days back, I saw a headline about a theft for some 10,00,000 bucks. On first look, I felt sorry for the poor fellow who was out of city for 2 days and got swept off in the absence. However, as I went further the emotions changed. The poor (brains not the pocket) fellow left the home while around two hundred thousand in cash and rest as jewelry were tucked in a regular cupboard in his bedroom. Wow! Not even a safe, regular cupboard. Icing on the cake, the keys was placed on the top of cupboard itself.. Come on dude, what is it? Some consummate utopia? Or you were trying to play hidden treasure with the robbers? Okay, the law and order should be there but it won’t harm in taking some precaution. No?</p><p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom:0in;margin-bottom:.0001pt"><br /></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom:0in;margin-bottom:.0001pt">Quite an innovative way to invite the troubles and misfortune… huh!</p><p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom:0in;margin-bottom:.0001pt"><br /></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom:0in;margin-bottom:.0001pt">Cheers!</p><p></p>Scattered Thoughts...http://www.blogger.com/profile/15905369958934752147noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8203371022505778917.post-39309058407828737972009-12-08T23:08:00.003+05:302009-12-08T23:16:00.025+05:30Whatever!!<div>I am really in a shitty mood from last couple of days. Don’t know why so don’t bother to ask, but I see am livid and irritated with any and every one around me. Ever heard and seen a fuming-angry dragon breath-fire or witnessed really big volcanic eruptions? Yep, you got it!</div><div><br /></div><div>Needless to say, the guys in office are the blessed ones to get it in abundance but not only that, I am like infuriated with every damn thing around me. I don’t feel like talking to anyone. Don’t want to socialize (hah, when did I feel like that anyways?). Can’t tolerate movies, not that they make even half decent movies these days but there were times when I could even watch a <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mithun_Chakraborty"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#3366FF;">Mithun Da</span></a> flick. Have a confirmed booking for vacation in Sikkim during Christmas, but feel like cancelling it every now and then. As obvious, I don’t feel like writing anymore and no, its not that bloody writer’s block coz I have hell of pointless stuff to blah blah about and then I don’t really think of myself as a writer, let alone their blocks. </div><div><br /></div><div>Work used to be something where I never ever had any problems. Come what may, but business and office always kept me absorbed and devoted, but looking again, its no more fun these days. This is more of an obligation than passion. You know what, sometimes I feel like leaving everything aside and running far away. I think with my experience and qualification, whatever I have, I would get a job for waiter or probably a cab driver somewhere in a remote and peaceful place like may be <a href="http://images.google.co.in/images?hl=en&client=firefox-a&rls=org.mozilla:en-US:official&hs=PX4&q=diu&um=1&ie=UTF-8&sa=N&tab=wi"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#3366FF;">Diu</span></a>. See, what is the bloody point of working 14 hours a day? When you reach back to home in night, you are eating those 2 cold chapattis all alone. Now please spare the comments section and don’t start the <i>gyan</i> that probably I need to relook and try to balance out the things coz no, I can’t bloody do that. You know, Business is like a mouse trap. Once you are in, you are trapped. You cannot pull back coz once you start bossing around you cannot get your ass into a job where someone else is bossing you. You cannot stand still with costs rising everyday and competition ready to eat you up. All you can do is keep moving ahead somehow and that is the only way to survive. Ever seen a cricket in spider web or someone in marsh? More you try to come out, all the more trapped you are. That is business for you darling.</div><div><br /></div><div>Of course there are perks but is it really worth? Its peace that we need in life, not a rollercoaster ride of stress every day. Happiness, which cannot come with the materialistic things in life. A few days back, I asked dad, let us buy a new TV, may be a 42” LCD or something and though he said yes but asked just one question. In last two months how many hours I have actually spent watching TV. I think it won’t come up to 24 hours in total but guess we try to distract ourselves with such things and try to find happiness in places where we are most unlikely to find it. </div><div><br /></div><div>It ain’t any use writing pages on how I am feeling and am sure no one cares anyways but hell, its my place after all. </div><div><br /></div><div>Finally, a little Trivia – As it shows “Bloody” is my favorite word these days, exceeding the uses by 99 times a day and 2 times in a sentence. </div><div><br /></div><div>Cheers!</div><div><br /></div>Scattered Thoughts...http://www.blogger.com/profile/15905369958934752147noreply@blogger.com7tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8203371022505778917.post-38224415794436725702009-09-14T22:36:00.004+05:302009-09-15T12:46:33.470+05:30The so called weekend…<div><b>Saturday, 12 Sep. 2009 – 4.00 PM Evening</b></div><div><br /></div><div>Trying to wrap up the pending stuff, for a change let us go home early. </div><div><br /></div><div><i>Skype Window appears on screen! XYZ calling…</i></div><div><br /></div><div>The outer self (OS) - Shit!! Not now… Should I pick it… or should I not.. </div><div>The inner self (IS) - You were supposed to go early Maheep.. </div><div>OS - Come on, it won’t take more than 5 minutes.. its just a simple and innocent follow up call.. let us pick it.</div><div>IS - You kid me not!</div><div>OS - Its recession time… not a good idea to ignore when opportunity is knocking your door.</div><div><br /></div><div><i>OS wins, picked up the call</i></div><div><br /></div><div>XYZ – Hey Maheep, whats up. Hope I am not disturbing you on a weekend.</div><div>Me – Hey! Its okay, I am in office anyways.</div><div>XYZ – Great. I won’t take much time of yours, its just that I presented your proposal to the management and they are asking for some more details. Something more solid!</div><div>Me – And that is?</div><div>XYZ – Well, some kind of project plan, your suggestions to improve the overall productivity, how can you add value to the project, things like that. You know the typical management stuff to shut them up. </div><div>Me – And you don’t need it now, right?</div><div>XYZ – Ah, not now, I understand its weekend, but we are looking forward to make a decision by Monday, so some thing by Monday morning our time.</div><div>Me – Hmm</div><div><br /></div><div><i>Hung up the call</i></div><div><br /></div><div>OS – Fuck! </div><div>IS – Evil laugh. Don’t blame me sweetheart.</div><div>OS – Will you keep your bloody mouth shut?</div><div>IS – Wateve.. its your life.. your weekend…</div><div><br /></div><div>Spent the whole evening working on relationship diagrams, flow charts, a brief presentation and n number of other supporting documents.</div><div><br /></div><div><b>Saturday, 12 Sep. 2009 – 11.00 PM Evening</b></div><div><br /></div><div>OS - Let us call it a day. Just the write-up thing is pending and I can handle it tomorrow. </div><div>IS – Excuse me but I think you promised wifey to go shopping on this Sunday</div><div>OS – I know, you moron. But this is not gonna take more than 2 hours. Got the whole day for other things.</div><div>IS – As if I don’t know you!</div><div>OS – Din’t I just tell you to keep your bloody mouth shut!</div><div>IS – :(</div><div><br /></div><div><b>Sunday, 13 Sep. 2009 – 03.00 PM Noon</b></div><div><br /></div><div>Neha – I thought you were going to office.</div><div>Me – Hmm??</div><div>Neha – Office? Ain’t you supposed to move your lazy ass from this couch and get ready? </div><div>Me – <i>Reluctantly</i> Hmm</div><div><br /></div><div><b>Sunday, 13 Sep. 2009 – 05.30 PM Evening</b></div><div><br /></div><div><i>Finally in office. Trying to work on the document when my friend Raj makes an appearance</i></div><div><br /></div><div>Me – Argh!</div><div><br /></div><div><b>Sunday, 13 Sep. 2009 – 8.00 PM Evening</b></div><div><br /></div><div>Raj – <i> chal bye then, bohat time kharab kar liya </i> (Okay, see ya then, already wasted so much time)</div><div>Me - :)</div><div><br /></div><div><b>Sunday, 13 Sep. 2009 – 10.00 PM Evening</b></div><div><br /></div><div>Finished the stuff, clubbed everything. Trying to clean up the extra files…</div><div><br /></div><div>Being an IT Professional, speed is the key. And we don’t believe in deleting the files via Recycle Bin. It has to be wiped out. So Shift + Delete.</div><div><br /></div><div>Like they say! Speed thrills… but kills… and very next moment.</div><div><br /></div><div><b>THE PROPOSAL IS GONE… WIPED OUT… DELETED!!</b></div><div><br /></div><div>Shit! Fuck!!! Shit! </div><div><br /></div><div>Now what??? Remember… recession time. It has to go today… Monday is already jammed so no use postponing it. </div><div><br /></div><div><b>Sunday, 13 Sep. 2009 – 12.15 AM Mid Night</b></div><div><br /></div><div>Finished again… Reviewed carefully… Sent email!</div><div><br /></div><div>Somehow crawled to car, drove home. Wifey’s face expression suggests, not the best time to present the case so better go to sleep.</div><div><br /></div><div><b>Monday, 14 Sep. 2009 – 10.00 AM Morning</b></div><div><br /></div><div><i>New Mail from XYZ</i></div><div><br /></div><div>Dear Maheep</div><div><br /></div><div>Thanks a lot for your intensive proposal and project plan. We really appreciate the efforts you have put in to work on this but I am afraid, management has decided to go ahead with a local company from US. </div><div><br /></div><div>Thanks again for your time and we look forward to work with you in future.</div><div><br /></div><div>Best,</div><div><br /></div><div>XYZ</div><div><br /></div><div>AAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHH… FUCK @#$@#$%^ SHIT @@#$@!w$@ YOU CAN’T BLOODY DO THIS TO ME…</div><div><br /></div><div><b>Monday, 14 Sep. 2009 – 4.00 PM Evening </b></div><div><br /></div><div>Skype window appears…. </div><div><br /></div><div>Such is life.. <i>sach main</i> nobody dies virgin!!!</div><div><br /></div><div>Cheers!! </div><div><br /></div>Scattered Thoughts...http://www.blogger.com/profile/15905369958934752147noreply@blogger.com10tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8203371022505778917.post-12305295100625126882009-09-11T20:03:00.007+05:302009-09-11T20:19:36.790+05:30Its Rocking<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:Arial;font-size:100%;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: 13px;"><div>Though I must admit that I am on the atyachari (tormentor) side in this video but nonetheless its a harsh reality and awesomely rocking. Njoy guys and have a break...</div><div><br /></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: 10px; white-space: pre; "><object width="425" height="344"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/fvB8gIh23wA&hl=en&fs=1&rel=0"></param><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"></param><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"></param><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/fvB8gIh23wA&hl=en&fs=1&rel=0" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true" width="425" height="344"></embed></object></span></div><div><br /></div><div>Source - http://offisialatyachaar.com/ </div><div><br /></div><div>Cheers !! </div></span></span>Scattered Thoughts...http://www.blogger.com/profile/15905369958934752147noreply@blogger.com8tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8203371022505778917.post-17093966245725392052009-08-25T21:55:00.001+05:302009-08-25T21:55:46.719+05:30Dilemma!!<div>When I started this business long back, one of the first employees I hired was R. He was not a qualified engineer or exceptionally bright candidate, but yes, very dedicated and sincere. The salary I could offer him at that time was peanuts to be honest, but he never really complained about it. Looking back, it might be due to the lack of his degree and very limited options in software development field in the city but okay, that is not the point of discussion here. </div><div><br /></div><div>As the time passed by, the company grew, and so did the salaries and number of employees. I figured out that despite all motivation, better working environment and other facilities, company was now offering, R was somehow unable to cope with the increasing pressure, emerging technologies and customer’s exigencies. As a senior member in team, I expected him to be responsible, initiative and reliable but it turned out that chances of him screwing up were directly proportional to the seriousness of the matter. In other words, if a client is growling on certain issue and we are the defaulters, I could always rely on R to make the matters worse. </div><div><br /></div><div>We spoke about these things several times coz I accept it or not but somehow I had a soft corner for him. He supported us by not switching over the jobs and working in the odd conditions when the single most important thing we needed was stability from employees in those unearthly conditions. Every time we spoke, he used to pick mistakes in others but never wanted to improve his own self. I warned him so many times as things were literally going over my head, almost everyone in the team was unhappy with his attitude, bossism and peculiar ideas. The day came when I issued the last warning followed by sacking him from the job. It was not a pleasant moment but in a way it had a positive effect on the team. The message was clear, if R can be dismissed, no one is safe and instead of sticking to government employees kind of attitude, they need to prove their worth if they want to stay in the company. </div><div><br /></div><div>Every thing was fine, well almost, until one day, R called back asking for a meeting. What followed up was a long discussion with him accepting all of the mistakes, willing to improve and requesting for just one chance on any cost. I usually have a rule to never take an employee back once they move out, be it from my side or theirs. So I did with him. </div><div><br /></div><div>Another week passed by and he called up again. Almost crying, requesting for another chance, even willing to work without pay for a month or so and then proving his worth. Now at this moment I am in a quandary. The gut feelings say, things have changed for good after his dismissal and I should keep it like that. On other hand, when I think of his family, the school going kid and other problems in his life, I think of giving him another chance. So far instincts are winning, let us see what comes next.. </div><div><br /></div><div>In any case feeling better after writing it out!! </div><div><br /></div><div>Cheers!! </div><div><br /></div>Scattered Thoughts...http://www.blogger.com/profile/15905369958934752147noreply@blogger.com13tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8203371022505778917.post-72315631494173378062009-08-05T18:52:00.004+05:302009-08-05T19:24:06.110+05:30Rakhi especial<span style="font-weight: bold;">Disclaimer – </span>The Hindi Script here has nothing to do with my previous post :) Its just that the essence of these few lines can be felt with Hindi only, though I have tried to provide the translations as well. So here we go…<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">Scene Setup</span><br /><br />Around 12.30 in night, every body is asleep apart from few whispering members in the family.<br /><br /><div>A 25 some thing boy,<br />Girl – cousin of the boy, in same age group<br />An elderly lady – around 48, mother of the girl and "<i>Chachi"</i> (aunt) of the boy<br /><br /><span style="font-style: italic;">Boy is trying hard to say some thing but voice quavering, as the deep sentiments takes over every time</span><br /><br />Boy - चाची हम से कोई प्यार नहीं करता... (Aunt, no body loves me)<br /><i><br /></i><div><i>Girl is looking at the boy with quizzical expression on face, Lady is waiting for more to come…</i><br /><br /></div><div>Boy – बड़े भैया पापा के लाडले हैं, मंझले भैया माँ के, हम कहाँ जाए चाची... (The eldest brother is Dad’s favorite and younger to him is favorite of mom.. where do I go, aunt)<br /><br /><i>Every body else in the room is unable to speak… some of them chocked with emotions and some of them, plain afraid of loosing control of roaring laughter</i><br /><br />Boy - चाची तुम हमें अपना बेटा बना लो चाची.. तुम में हमें अपनी माँ नज़र आती है चाची.. (Aunt, I see my mother in you.. I want to be your son)<br />Lady Finally speaks – अरे तो तुम मेरे बेटे ही तो हो, कैसी बातें कर रहे हो.. (Yeah dear, that is what you are.. my son..)<br /><br /></div><div>Boy – trying to control the tears..<br />Girl – trying to control the laughter<br />Lady – trying to control the urge to leave the room<br /><br />Cut !!<br /><br />Guys, this is not some <a style="color: rgb(51, 51, 255);" href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ekta_Kapoor">Ekta Kapoor </a>Soap.. Meet Tallu (name changed), the lead character from the drama, cousin of Neha. Rest of the characters, now you can identify easily, girl is Neha, and Lady here is her mom. This is an actual incident which took place few days back.. so what better occasion than <a style="color: rgb(51, 51, 255);" href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Raksha_Bandhan">Rakhi</a> to introduce you people with the iconic brother of Mrs. Gupta, who despite all this idiotic brainless bumbling, is my favorite brother-in-law (no pun intended ;)<br /><br />Later on, I tried asking the moron, why the hell he needs to name a relation to some thing which it is not? If that will change his feelings or make them any better? But guess what, that sent him again into effusion and he was unable to speak for next couple of hours.. O god forgive me for the sins I have committed!!<br /><br />Before our wedding, Tallu dearest went to Pune to help Neha in packing up with her stuff. In the evening they planned for some eating joint and Tallu, Neha and Shipra (a friend of Neha) started in an auto rickshaw. Neha was talking to me on phone and Shipra was joshing Tallu. For few minutes Tallu tried tolerating the inattentiveness from her precious little sister but then it became all beyond his control. Now what can a self-respecting brother do in such circumstances… so the superman decided to jump out of the running auto and so he did. I heard “Arre”, “What happened” and some other frantic babblings for some time and then line went dead. Later on, I came to know that Tallu just couldn’t tolerate this ignorance and decided to flee away from those insensitive thoughtless people. Now the scene was like -<br /><br />Tallu jumped from running auto and started walking away<br />Neha almost jumped behind him and started following<br />Shipra too stunned to speak and then finally screamed <i>“Abe Salo, ye auto ke paise kaun dega…”</i> (you buggers, who is gonna pay for this auto rickshaw)<br /><br />Now, a man of fierce emotions that I am, I had to ask the shithead, what exactly he was thinking that he was doing.<br /><br />हम से रहा नहीं गया जीजा जी, बताइए हम क्या करते! (Sorry but I couldn’t control it)..<br />First of all, its maheep, I have told you hell many times, not to call me <i>Jeeja Jee</i>.<br />अब ये हम से नहीं होगा जीजा जी (Oh, I can not do that)<br />!@#^&&%!#!@%$*)^&%!@#^&&%!#!@%$*)</div><div><br />Later that night, I was telling Neha, we are not going to speak tonight.. why? She asked. Oh come on, you will be in train at that time and if Tallu will see you talking to me, he is gonna jump from train…<br /><br />Cheers!!<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">P.S.</span> – All you brothers and sisters our there, learn to love and live from Tallu.. have a happy rakhi folks..</div></div>Scattered Thoughts...http://www.blogger.com/profile/15905369958934752147noreply@blogger.com10tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8203371022505778917.post-10602102454595433212009-08-04T21:25:00.004+05:302009-08-04T21:44:14.790+05:30Desi meets NRI<div>Heye Maaaahip, hawdy! These were the words in the exactly same accent that came to me as I picked up the phone. WTF! I grumbled and looked at Neha. The smartass lady on phone was a cousin of Madame (which explains my courage to be able to give those looks), settled in USA from last couple of years and as the conversation went on, she left no stone unturned to prove this very fact to me. </div><div><br /></div><div>For few moments I was in a quandary as the “typical me” from deep inside was like tickling hard to laugh hysterically while the little left hemisphere was getting too very frustrated with this shitty tone of hers. I have a standard technique for such self-acclaimed chinless wonders, and so I did by switching tracks to <i> shudh hindi</i> (our good old Hindi) and the conversation moved on like <i>“Jee, main bilkul theek hu, aap kaisi hai”</i> (I am perfectly alright, how are you?)</div><div><br /></div><div>I imagine, for a moment or two, she must be thinking what kind of village bum, her sis (Neha) has chosen but then Ting! The <a href="http://www.indiantelevision.com/mam/special/y2k8/ad_pick/ad_pick5.php"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#3333FF;">MENTOS moment</span></a>… and Ms. Bluestocking realized the sarcasm. Long forgotten Hindi with perfectly alright accent came back to life. I was so inclined to ask the jackass about this sudden transformation but then, whatever!!</div><div><br /></div><div>Later on I was acquainted with some more esteemed facts like whenever Her Majesty visits India, the whole colony gets a pesticide treatment so that NRI couple and kids don’t get some ailment from dirty Indian suburbs. Not only that, whenever the kids try to learn or speak Hindi, they get spanked coz this might result in forgetting their command on English which I guess is the one and only omnipotent thing in this world to them. </div><div><br /></div><div>Seriously people, what the fuck is this? You were born here, spent 25 years of your life in these streets, speaking Hindi, eating food from those road side shops, drinking this water and now 3-4 years in USA or some other western part of this world and you find it grueling to speak Hindi in right manner? I think its not grueling, they feel some kind of shame in speaking in their mother tongue. Sorry boss, but please do us a favor and keep your fat ass in your almighty west only. We are really really not interested!!</div><div><br /></div><div>Cheers!! </div><div><br /></div>Scattered Thoughts...http://www.blogger.com/profile/15905369958934752147noreply@blogger.com11tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8203371022505778917.post-22173733861948944472009-07-19T16:43:00.007+05:302009-07-21T12:10:05.588+05:30How to wreck your Sunday in 3 easy steps…<div>1) Wake up</div><div>2) Find a theater near you.</div><div>3) Watch the first show of <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Kambakkht_Ishq"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#3333FF;">“Kambhakht Ishq”</span></a></div><div><br /></div><div>For better results, try going along with a hardcore Akshaya Kumar fan. All the more good, if that person is your wifey or girl in your life.</div><div><br /></div><div>Rest assured, for the whole day you will be in a peculiar state of wooziness, palpitations, agitation, spasm, anguishes… Okay, I guess you got the idea. Some of you might also get a mild suffering of insomnia for next couple of days but research shows that though there are no medicines for it but the good news is, it’s a temporary situation and the best way to come out is to think healthy and try to distract your mind by forgetting about that distressful day. </div><div><br /></div><div>Same therapy (read steps) can be used for several other causes as well. To name a few… </div><div><br /></div><div>1) Vengeance guide for dummies <i>Well in this case you will have to gift the ticket to your enemy ( mind you, “ENEMY” not “husband”)</i></div><div>2) What you should not do if you are in film industry.</div><div>3) The idiots guide to break up with your beau. </div><div>4) How to get a severe headache in 3 easy steps.</div><div><br /></div><div>Now the good part is, once you are done with the exercise, you will be an all new, improved, <i>super shakti vala insaan</i> (man with super powers), confident enough to go watch any damn movie. For the simple reason, come what may, no one can bloody make a worse movie than this... so in any case, the odds will be in your favor! </div><div><br /></div><div>Till then!! Keep singing… <span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#3333FF;"><i><a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=51aPNg4F1m4"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#3333FF;">Bebo main bebo, dil mera le lo…</span></a><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#000000;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal;"> @#!%^$#</span></span></i></span></div><div><br /></div><div>Cheers!! </div><div><br /></div>Scattered Thoughts...http://www.blogger.com/profile/15905369958934752147noreply@blogger.com19tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8203371022505778917.post-21784497001727354252009-07-11T21:26:00.003+05:302009-07-11T21:27:50.586+05:30Its only human to wish more…<div>We often see chained mails already floating around the corners, posted on blogs, but I am not really a big fan of that. To me, blogging is more about my own experiences and views towards any and every unimportant and insignificant thing around me. However, a few days back, one of my friends sent me some stuff, claiming it to be the original requests from various employees in company, made to the Facilities and Housekeeping. Now I must admit that I was actually ROFLing while reading this and thus couldn’t help but break my rule for not posting the forwarded stuff. </div><div><br /></div><div>Before posting it, I tried to search on almighty Google to check if its just another forwarded email but no such sign, so I hope this is not the case and most of you have not read it already…</div><div><br /></div><div>Oh, another thing I couldn’t help was to add “My Take” on these innocent and original requests. So here it goes… </div><div><br /></div><div>*Request Detail* - I especially came in early to prepare for a meeting but hah, such a waste of time.. WHY on earth my pedestal is locked? I needed my documents in there now!! Any clue why my voicemail has been disabled??? I am just lucky that my laptop is still working, so you can get this request and have it timed that I actually came in early. </div><div><br /></div><div>Oh, apologies… Please disregard my previous message? I was actually at the wrong aisle and desk.</div><div><br /></div><div>*My Take* - Never mind dude! In fact, thanks you didn’t blame them for not providing an escort on door. After all you go there just daily… so quite understandable that you forgot!</div><div><br /></div><div>*Request Details* - The Whiteboard given to our team is so big. Is it possible to replace it with a smaller one? We do not really have enough work to fill it completely and then it gives false impression about our performance. </div><div><br /></div><div>*My Take* - So very innocent of you but if your team leader knows this?</div><div><br /></div><div>*Request Details* - Wall clock in the conference room seems to need new batteries. I am quite sure it was not just me who imagined time had stopped, and trust me meeting wasn't that boring.</div><div><br /></div><div>*My Take* - You know my friend, I was once in your shoes too (Remember <i>kyuki saas bhi kabhi bahu thee</i>), so while I can feel your pain but unfortunately there is not much that can be done about it!! </div><div><br /></div><div>*Request Details* - Since I have come back from my vacation, I am unable to find my chair. Seems somebody has stolen it and then there is no spare one with both of the arms in place, working pushback and a decent cushion (To be precise, one that hasn't been eaten by hungry programmers!)</div><div><br /></div><div>*My Take* - Thanks, now at least they have another reason to close down the office cafeteria. </div><div><br /></div><div>*Request Details* - XYZ’s lips have turned blue and he looks very tired. It seems to me the secondary stage of hypothermia. Is there any chance to get the heating turned up (even switching it on would be a good start). </div><div><br /></div><div>*My Take*- Oh that seems fair but then you must remember Mr. Darwin’s theory “Survival of the fittest”, so they might be just trying to train you for the sore conditions.</div><div><br /></div><div>*Request Details* - The left wall in the men’s loo on 1st floor appears to have gathered a wide collection of what I can only imagine as boggy or some other nostril fungus. It has already been few weeks, so its safe to assume that either the cleaners are not doing the duties, or someone has a very regular habit with a great ability to shape his bogies to the same size and designs.</div><div><br /></div><div>*My Take* - Okay for once, no comments.. but some nice observation and imagination you have!! </div><div><br /></div><div>*Request Details* - Male Toilet on 2nd floor is freezing. The obvious functions for what a person usually goes there cannot be normally performed in such low temperature as there is a danger of freezing and body parts falling off. (Watch Terminator – 2 for reference) Can anything be done apart from waiting for winter to end? </div><div><br /></div><div>*My Take* - Now this is a valid and genuine request. At least one should be able to do those normal functions in peace :)</div><div><br /></div><div>*Request Details* - The Coffee pot in pantry 2 has a large crack and I am afraid its ready to explode in my hands, cruelly spreading boiled water all over me, leaving me unable to perform to best of my potential and thus endangering future of company.</div><div><br /></div><div>*My Take* - This is due to you my dear friend why the company and the whole country have managed to survive. If it was not you where would they have been!!</div><div><br /></div><div>*Request Details* - Is there any provision for footrest on desks? My feet dangle if I try to sit properly on the chair. </div><div><br /></div><div>*My Take* - To start with, how do you manage to sit? Ladder? Or two escorts?</div><div><br /></div><div>And the winner is – </div><div><br /></div><div>*Request Details* - The 2nd stall in the Gents toilets on top floor has no lock from several weeks. I am afraid of running out of songs to sing. Could you please either get that thing fixed or may be provide a lyrics book from 90’s hits. </div><div><br /></div><div>*My Take* - but why do you need to spend that much time there, ain’t you provided with a cubical as well?</div><div><br /></div><div>cheers! </div>Scattered Thoughts...http://www.blogger.com/profile/15905369958934752147noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8203371022505778917.post-29759722095137504252009-07-07T22:57:00.004+05:302009-07-21T12:10:43.595+05:30Fiasco!!<div><div>1) Bought a<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#000099;"> </span><a href="http://www.brylcreem.com/"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#3333FF;">Brylcreem</span></a><a href="http://www.brylcreem.com/"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#3333FF;"> </span></a>and a <a href="http://www.pidilite.com/productinner.asp?cat=Consumer%20Products&subcat=1&subcat1=60&subcat2=164"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#3333FF;">fevikwik</span></a> (can’t help it, they spell it like that only) and gave 50 bucks to the guy on counter.</div><div>2) Waiting…</div><div>3) Nothing.. zilch.. dud!</div><div>4) Started taping on counter on my imaginary bongo while trying to be a nice and patient customer, instead of messing up with him to hurry up.</div><div>5) Guy looking in my eyes with quizzical look.</div><div>6) Change!</div><div>7) <i>Smiling…</i> you gotta be kidding, you give me another 2 bucks.</div><div>8) Wat!! </div><div>9) Yes sir…</div><div>10) Damn! </div><div><br /></div><div>Hell, where exactly this country is going… 50 Rs. used to be a big amount man!! </div><div><br /></div><div><img src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_AvPM8VAou5c/SlOKlP4uzZI/AAAAAAAAA0c/CbqcIfhoKJo/s200/Hair_style.jpg" style="float:right; margin:0 0 10px 10px;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 198px; height: 200px;" border="0" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5355776754397924754" /></div><div><b>P.S.</b> - Now If you are wondering about this strange combination of Brylcreem and Fevikwik, then let me tell you the top secret g<i>harelu nuskha</i> (home remedy) to prepare a perfect hair gel to attain that perfect hairstyle.</div><div><br /></div><div><b>P.P.S.</b>– Try this <i>nuskha</i> on your own risk. Blog writer takes no responsibility and cannot be held accountable for the results per se the actions taken with the information provided here. After all it depends on your hair type, tolerance level, belief in remedy and 9933488 other factors…</div><div><br /></div><div>Cheers!!</div><div><br /></div><div><b>Image Courtesy : Google Image Search</b></div></div>Scattered Thoughts...http://www.blogger.com/profile/15905369958934752147noreply@blogger.com9tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8203371022505778917.post-6495939528328171152009-06-30T13:49:00.006+05:302009-06-30T14:10:51.865+05:30Welcome to the Maharaja Experience…<div><div>In our recent trip to Thailand we got a chance to experience the grand and magnificent Maharaja treatment. Torn, rebuking, blaring… errr.. what kind of Maharaja treatment is that! Don’t sweat darling, welcome onboard to Air India. The world’s most preferred airline (as per a note from CMD of our beloved airline).</div><div><br /></div><div>I might be sounding exaggerated but trust me that is how it was. As we entered into the aircraft, the first impression was quite similar to of a local city bus. The cabin crew had an expression as if they were just spanked and told to stay on gate as a punishment by Mr. Pilot. Come on guys… a rather smiling face won’t do any harm.</div><div><br /></div><div>The temperature inside was as hot as it could be when ACs are not working. Fortunately it came to life after some time. My wild guess is that either we were plain lucky or may be they were just waiting to get the cart loaded with all passengers to save on some fuel. We somehow found the seats and as we tried to put our fat bums on it, there was a strange creaking noise. I tried to look around and discovered that the seat was thoroughly fastened by surgical tape at various places. Wow, now that is some in-flight experience for sure. Virgin guys… where are you? What about your button operated flat bed seats! You might take a tip or two from Maharaja to make them more comfortable. A further glance ascertained that we were not the only one chosen for it, most of them were in similar state. For some of them it was the arm rest, for others it was flip food tray or some thing else. Now, I am sure you guys are nodding your heads in disagreement, so here, take a look yourself.</div><div><br /></div></div><img src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_AvPM8VAou5c/SknNZUecOmI/AAAAAAAAA0E/XfDfudcGUnc/s320/DSCN4194+(Large).JPG" style="cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 320px; height: 240px;" border="0" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5353035466983357026" /><span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space:pre"> </span><img src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_AvPM8VAou5c/SknNZDFl2MI/AAAAAAAAAz8/Pf7N4K3uCFE/s320/DSCN4193+(Large).JPG" style="cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 320px; height: 240px;" border="0" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5353035462315727042" /><br /><br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_AvPM8VAou5c/SknNYryxk6I/AAAAAAAAAz0/5GtyTdH1XXQ/s1600-h/DSCN4192+(Large).JPG"><img style="cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 320px; height: 240px;" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_AvPM8VAou5c/SknNYryxk6I/AAAAAAAAAz0/5GtyTdH1XXQ/s320/DSCN4192+(Large).JPG" border="0" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5353035456062788514" /><span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space:pre"> </span></a><img src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_AvPM8VAou5c/SknNYbtTcLI/AAAAAAAAAzs/mwH02y_fq_8/s320/DSCN4191+(Large).JPG" style="cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 320px; height: 240px;" border="0" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5353035451744874674" /><img src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_AvPM8VAou5c/SknNZok8F0I/AAAAAAAAA0M/pH8xVGIH8Rs/s320/DSCN4195+(Large).JPG" style="cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 320px; height: 309px;" border="0" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5353035472379320130" /><div><br /></div><div>At the time of take off, Neha wanted some ear buds so I tried buzzing the stewardess. Tring… waited for 5 minutes, no response, never mind, they must be busy some where else. Tring again... same… Tring again.. lost the hope. After around 10 minutes an Aunty (what else do you call a 40 something air hostess?) came huffing and puffing. We needed some ear buds but never mind we managed fine, but yeah, could you please get us some magazines, I said with a forced smile. What she came up with was “Swagat” (welcome), a leaflet kind of thing with a note from CMD and some other internal stuff on how AI is world’s most preferred airline and how thankful they are coz we are flying with them. (But thanks anyway coz that gave me the ID of the CMD for feedback, where I am sending the link to this post, with least hopes to get a reply) </div><div><br /></div><div>During the flight when aunty was serving the drinks, a poor passenger on the next seat was trying to listen to some music on his phone. </div><div><br /></div><div>Aunty <i>(almost screaming)</i> – ye kya hai? (What is this?)</div><div>Poor Passenger (PP) – blinked... astonished with the sudden attack</div><div>Aunty - HAI KYA YE… (WHAT EXACTLY IS THIS?), Mobile phone?</div><div>PP – yeah but this is in flight mode</div><div>Aunty – whatever, even this is not allowed, band karo ise (switch the damn thing off)</div><div>PP – but…</div><div>Aunty – grumbling while moving ahead… Flight mode, huh… </div><div>PP – too stunned to speak…</div><div><br /></div><div>All said and done, we can easily argue that it might be one bad day or one bad flight and not all of their flights are like that (even I agree coz the flight at the time of going was not half bad) but I have just one question, that is, what image AI is trying to portray by offering this kind of aircrafts and in flight experience in their <b>international flights</b>. In the age of this cut throat competition where every other company is trying to come up with best quality and service, if this is what AI guys are trying to compete with?</div><div><br /></div><div>Cheers!! </div><div><br /></div><div><br /></div>Scattered Thoughts...http://www.blogger.com/profile/15905369958934752147noreply@blogger.com19tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8203371022505778917.post-24319939836177708002009-05-17T00:02:00.003+05:302009-05-17T01:54:14.008+05:30Getting old’s a bitch…<div>Some times I think how fast the time is moving. You wake up in the morning, start your day in home or come to office with so many plans and schedules made for the day ahead, but before you can even realize or start thinking about doing those things, you see its 4 PM already. The productivity of the day so far… cipher.. null! You look back, where exactly the whole day went and absolutely no answer to justify. Days become weeks and weeks become months and we stand still, wondering how fast bloody life is moving. It looks like a fortnight when year 2009 was started and as usual I promised rather targeted for few goals in this year. Looking again at it, half the year is gone and I am definitely not the half way to do those things. On Mondays when I start the day, I see the whole week ahead with certain chores to be completed and just more than enough time for it, but next time when I look at the calendar, it already shows a Thursday and an unwanted haste starts running in already screwed up life, just to make the things happen somehow but actually making them all the more worse. </div><div><br /></div><div>The truth is, life as well as time is moving on its usual pace but its us, the human beings who have lost the synch with it. With the hidden desires and exhort to get more from every moment, the never ending yearn to achieve more and the craving to be ahead of everybody else has brought us to a place where we find ourselves so helpless and nothing but a slave to the clock. Every time we think about it, we make a promise to improve it once the current project or job is over, promise to the family to give more time just after these crucial 15 days, promise to give some time to ourselves once the current situations come in control, but do we really do it… nope! What we actually do is make another promise as per the new circumstances and that’s about it. </div><div><br /></div><div>That’s been said, I am not getting frustrated or pessimist here but guess about time to think again over this. I am sure we can not run in this speed for long. Another 5 years and we will not be able to do 15 hours a day in office, another promotion with some added responsibilities and even remaining balance between professional and personal lives will be lost, then why are we making all this so complicated now. Why are we trying to surround ourselves with the things which even we will not be able to deal with after some time? We are running in a blind alley while not even realizing for the moments lost and when we will realize, it will be too late for sure. Its now when we need to change ourselves and start looking at life in a more laid-back perspective instead of postponing it for tomorrow or next week or next month. </div><div><br /></div><div>Looking at the time, it shows 12.00 AM and here I am exactly 31 years old now. Damn! There goes another year from my life!! Nonetheless happy birthday ST! Have a wonderful year ahead...</div><div><br /></div><div>Cheers!</div><div><br /></div>Scattered Thoughts...http://www.blogger.com/profile/15905369958934752147noreply@blogger.com20