How long does it take to read a news paper these days? To me, reading the local paper is 10 minutes which includes classifieds, tenders, obituaries, name change declaration and yes, the so called news as well. But then there are some stories which would have been more appropriate for some kind of hall of fame section. If not the stories, then characters in the stories certainly are.
Few days back, I saw a headline about a theft for some 10,00,000 bucks. On first look, I felt sorry for the poor fellow who was out of city for 2 days and got swept off in the absence. However, as I went further the emotions changed. The poor (brains not the pocket) fellow left the home while around two hundred thousand in cash and rest as jewelry were tucked in a regular cupboard in his bedroom. Wow! Not even a safe, regular cupboard. Icing on the cake, the keys was placed on the top of cupboard itself.. Come on dude, what is it? Some consummate utopia? Or you were trying to play hidden treasure with the robbers? Okay, the law and order should be there but it won’t harm in taking some precaution. No?
Quite an innovative way to invite the troubles and misfortune… huh!
Around 12.30 in night, every body is asleep apart from few whispering members in the family.
Girl – cousin of the boy, in same age group
An elderly lady – around 48, mother of the girl and "Chachi" (aunt) of the boy
Boy is trying hard to say some thing but voice quavering, as the deep sentiments takes over every time
Boy - चाची हम से कोई प्यार नहीं करता... (Aunt, no body loves me)
Every body else in the room is unable to speak… some of them chocked with emotions and some of them, plain afraid of loosing control of roaring laughter
Boy - चाची तुम हमें अपना बेटा बना लो चाची.. तुम में हमें अपनी माँ नज़र आती है चाची.. (Aunt, I see my mother in you.. I want to be your son)
Lady Finally speaks – अरे तो तुम मेरे बेटे ही तो हो, कैसी बातें कर रहे हो.. (Yeah dear, that is what you are.. my son..)
Girl – trying to control the laughter
Lady – trying to control the urge to leave the room
Guys, this is not some Ekta Kapoor Soap.. Meet Tallu (name changed), the lead character from the drama, cousin of Neha. Rest of the characters, now you can identify easily, girl is Neha, and Lady here is her mom. This is an actual incident which took place few days back.. so what better occasion than Rakhi to introduce you people with the iconic brother of Mrs. Gupta, who despite all this idiotic brainless bumbling, is my favorite brother-in-law (no pun intended ;)
Later on, I tried asking the moron, why the hell he needs to name a relation to some thing which it is not? If that will change his feelings or make them any better? But guess what, that sent him again into effusion and he was unable to speak for next couple of hours.. O god forgive me for the sins I have committed!!
Before our wedding, Tallu dearest went to Pune to help Neha in packing up with her stuff. In the evening they planned for some eating joint and Tallu, Neha and Shipra (a friend of Neha) started in an auto rickshaw. Neha was talking to me on phone and Shipra was joshing Tallu. For few minutes Tallu tried tolerating the inattentiveness from her precious little sister but then it became all beyond his control. Now what can a self-respecting brother do in such circumstances… so the superman decided to jump out of the running auto and so he did. I heard “Arre”, “What happened” and some other frantic babblings for some time and then line went dead. Later on, I came to know that Tallu just couldn’t tolerate this ignorance and decided to flee away from those insensitive thoughtless people. Now the scene was like -
Tallu jumped from running auto and started walking away
Neha almost jumped behind him and started following
Shipra too stunned to speak and then finally screamed “Abe Salo, ye auto ke paise kaun dega…” (you buggers, who is gonna pay for this auto rickshaw)
Now, a man of fierce emotions that I am, I had to ask the shithead, what exactly he was thinking that he was doing.
हम से रहा नहीं गया जीजा जी, बताइए हम क्या करते! (Sorry but I couldn’t control it)..
First of all, its maheep, I have told you hell many times, not to call me Jeeja Jee.
अब ये हम से नहीं होगा जीजा जी (Oh, I can not do that)
Later that night, I was telling Neha, we are not going to speak tonight.. why? She asked. Oh come on, you will be in train at that time and if Tallu will see you talking to me, he is gonna jump from train…
P.S. – All you brothers and sisters our there, learn to love and live from Tallu.. have a happy rakhi folks..
8 things I am looking forward to
1) Lunch.. hell, I am starving!!
2) A payment which was supposed to arrive last week but thanks to some stupid mistake in wire instructions, no sign for another 2-3 days :(
3) My new Blackberry Storm
4) Watching “The Fast and The Furious 4”
5) My fiancé’s trip to Delhi for shopping, so that she stays busy there and I can sleep in peace for few days!! (me just kidding Neha, you know I don’t mean it dear)
6) Gawd.. isn’t 5 a good enough number.. just because the creator of this tag had nothing else to do or was looking forward to too many things, doesn’t mean that others are also that much well planned and organized and enthusiastic about the things coming up..
8 things I did yesterday
1) Woke up.. duh!! Big deal!!
2) Took bath.. oh wow.. thanks ST for being so kind and considerate to other people
3) Came to my first love, that is office.. (so many other things in between which are not worth mentioning here.. ;)
4) Did my routine chore of screaming at people.
5) Wandered on streets to finalize some bookings for Neha’s wedding. Bloody 3 hours.. that too on a bike in full pollution and peak traffic hours..
6) Had a hot raging discussion with a client about some crap issues
7) Attended an online webinar in office
8) A long walk in night before calling it a day
8 things I wish I could do
1) Buy Yamaha MT01 but I know the day I will mention it to dad, I will be seen flying out of the house from window, so need to play safe…
4) Wake up early and stay regular with gym
5) Have a beach house (worry not.. I am gonna have it some day for sure…)
6) Do nothing when I want to
8 shows I watch on TV
1) Friends – Star World
2) Movies when I get a chance... any movie for that matter... even Mithun Da :))
3) News some times, though I prefer reading it online
Hah..cant help it, that is all I watch on TV so impossible to reach to 8 points… and at the same time why the hell some one will be interested in knowing and then remembering the shows I watch on TV?? Huh.. any thing you see any thing.. just for the sake of tagging..
And I here by promise that I will never ever bug you people again with any tag.. and its not about you people, it’s actually a favor I am doing to myself!!