When I started this business long back, one of the first employees I hired was R. He was not a qualified engineer or exceptionally bright candidate, but yes, very dedicated and sincere. The salary I could offer him at that time was peanuts to be honest, but he never really complained about it. Looking back, it might be due to the lack of his degree and very limited options in software development field in the city but okay, that is not the point of discussion here.

As the time passed by, the company grew, and so did the salaries and number of employees. I figured out that despite all motivation, better working environment and other facilities, company was now offering, R was somehow unable to cope with the increasing pressure, emerging technologies and customer’s exigencies. As a senior member in team, I expected him to be responsible, initiative and reliable but it turned out that chances of him screwing up were directly proportional to the seriousness of the matter. In other words, if a client is growling on certain issue and we are the defaulters, I could always rely on R to make the matters worse.

We spoke about these things several times coz I accept it or not but somehow I had a soft corner for him. He supported us by not switching over the jobs and working in the odd conditions when the single most important thing we needed was stability from employees in those unearthly conditions. Every time we spoke, he used to pick mistakes in others but never wanted to improve his own self. I warned him so many times as things were literally going over my head, almost everyone in the team was unhappy with his attitude, bossism and peculiar ideas. The day came when I issued the last warning followed by sacking him from the job. It was not a pleasant moment but in a way it had a positive effect on the team. The message was clear, if R can be dismissed, no one is safe and instead of sticking to government employees kind of attitude, they need to prove their worth if they want to stay in the company.

Every thing was fine, well almost, until one day, R called back asking for a meeting. What followed up was a long discussion with him accepting all of the mistakes, willing to improve and requesting for just one chance on any cost. I usually have a rule to never take an employee back once they move out, be it from my side or theirs. So I did with him.

Another week passed by and he called up again. Almost crying, requesting for another chance, even willing to work without pay for a month or so and then proving his worth. Now at this moment I am in a quandary. The gut feelings say, things have changed for good after his dismissal and I should keep it like that. On other hand, when I think of his family, the school going kid and other problems in his life, I think of giving him another chance. So far instincts are winning, let us see what comes next..

In any case feeling better after writing it out!!


Rakhi especial
Disclaimer – The Hindi Script here has nothing to do with my previous post :) Its just that the essence of these few lines can be felt with Hindi only, though I have tried to provide the translations as well. So here we go…

Scene Setup

Around 12.30 in night, every body is asleep apart from few whispering members in the family.

A 25 some thing boy,
Girl – cousin of the boy, in same age group
An elderly lady – around 48, mother of the girl and "Chachi" (aunt) of the boy

Boy is trying hard to say some thing but voice quavering, as the deep sentiments takes over every time

Boy - चाची हम से कोई प्यार नहीं करता... (Aunt, no body loves me)

Girl is looking at the boy with quizzical expression on face, Lady is waiting for more to come…

Boy – बड़े भैया पापा के लाडले हैं, मंझले भैया माँ के, हम कहाँ जाए चाची... (The eldest brother is Dad’s favorite and younger to him is favorite of mom.. where do I go, aunt)

Every body else in the room is unable to speak… some of them chocked with emotions and some of them, plain afraid of loosing control of roaring laughter

Boy - चाची तुम हमें अपना बेटा बना लो चाची.. तुम में हमें अपनी माँ नज़र आती है चाची.. (Aunt, I see my mother in you.. I want to be your son)
Lady Finally speaks – अरे तो तुम मेरे बेटे ही तो हो, कैसी बातें कर रहे हो.. (Yeah dear, that is what you are.. my son..)

Boy – trying to control the tears..
Girl – trying to control the laughter
Lady – trying to control the urge to leave the room

Cut !!

Guys, this is not some Ekta Kapoor Soap.. Meet Tallu (name changed), the lead character from the drama, cousin of Neha. Rest of the characters, now you can identify easily, girl is Neha, and Lady here is her mom. This is an actual incident which took place few days back.. so what better occasion than Rakhi to introduce you people with the iconic brother of Mrs. Gupta, who despite all this idiotic brainless bumbling, is my favorite brother-in-law (no pun intended ;)

Later on, I tried asking the moron, why the hell he needs to name a relation to some thing which it is not? If that will change his feelings or make them any better? But guess what, that sent him again into effusion and he was unable to speak for next couple of hours.. O god forgive me for the sins I have committed!!

Before our wedding, Tallu dearest went to Pune to help Neha in packing up with her stuff. In the evening they planned for some eating joint and Tallu, Neha and Shipra (a friend of Neha) started in an auto rickshaw. Neha was talking to me on phone and Shipra was joshing Tallu. For few minutes Tallu tried tolerating the inattentiveness from her precious little sister but then it became all beyond his control. Now what can a self-respecting brother do in such circumstances… so the superman decided to jump out of the running auto and so he did. I heard “Arre”, “What happened” and some other frantic babblings for some time and then line went dead. Later on, I came to know that Tallu just couldn’t tolerate this ignorance and decided to flee away from those insensitive thoughtless people. Now the scene was like -

Tallu jumped from running auto and started walking away
Neha almost jumped behind him and started following
Shipra too stunned to speak and then finally screamed “Abe Salo, ye auto ke paise kaun dega…” (you buggers, who is gonna pay for this auto rickshaw)

Now, a man of fierce emotions that I am, I had to ask the shithead, what exactly he was thinking that he was doing.

हम से रहा नहीं गया जीजा जी, बताइए हम क्या करते! (Sorry but I couldn’t control it)..
First of all, its maheep, I have told you hell many times, not to call me Jeeja Jee.
अब ये हम से नहीं होगा जीजा जी (Oh, I can not do that)

Later that night, I was telling Neha, we are not going to speak tonight.. why? She asked. Oh come on, you will be in train at that time and if Tallu will see you talking to me, he is gonna jump from train…


P.S. – All you brothers and sisters our there, learn to love and live from Tallu.. have a happy rakhi folks..
Desi meets NRI
Heye Maaaahip, hawdy! These were the words in the exactly same accent that came to me as I picked up the phone. WTF! I grumbled and looked at Neha. The smartass lady on phone was a cousin of Madame (which explains my courage to be able to give those looks), settled in USA from last couple of years and as the conversation went on, she left no stone unturned to prove this very fact to me.

For few moments I was in a quandary as the “typical me” from deep inside was like tickling hard to laugh hysterically while the little left hemisphere was getting too very frustrated with this shitty tone of hers. I have a standard technique for such self-acclaimed chinless wonders, and so I did by switching tracks to shudh hindi (our good old Hindi) and the conversation moved on like “Jee, main bilkul theek hu, aap kaisi hai” (I am perfectly alright, how are you?)

I imagine, for a moment or two, she must be thinking what kind of village bum, her sis (Neha) has chosen but then Ting! The MENTOS moment… and Ms. Bluestocking realized the sarcasm. Long forgotten Hindi with perfectly alright accent came back to life. I was so inclined to ask the jackass about this sudden transformation but then, whatever!!

Later on I was acquainted with some more esteemed facts like whenever Her Majesty visits India, the whole colony gets a pesticide treatment so that NRI couple and kids don’t get some ailment from dirty Indian suburbs. Not only that, whenever the kids try to learn or speak Hindi, they get spanked coz this might result in forgetting their command on English which I guess is the one and only omnipotent thing in this world to them.

Seriously people, what the fuck is this? You were born here, spent 25 years of your life in these streets, speaking Hindi, eating food from those road side shops, drinking this water and now 3-4 years in USA or some other western part of this world and you find it grueling to speak Hindi in right manner? I think its not grueling, they feel some kind of shame in speaking in their mother tongue. Sorry boss, but please do us a favor and keep your fat ass in your almighty west only. We are really really not interested!!