Heye Maaaahip, hawdy! These were the words in the exactly same accent that came to me as I picked up the phone. WTF! I grumbled and looked at Neha. The smartass lady on phone was a cousin of Madame (which explains my courage to be able to give those looks), settled in USA from last couple of years and as the conversation went on, she left no stone unturned to prove this very fact to me.
For few moments I was in a quandary as the “typical me” from deep inside was like tickling hard to laugh hysterically while the little left hemisphere was getting too very frustrated with this shitty tone of hers. I have a standard technique for such self-acclaimed chinless wonders, and so I did by switching tracks to shudh hindi (our good old Hindi) and the conversation moved on like “Jee, main bilkul theek hu, aap kaisi hai” (I am perfectly alright, how are you?)
I imagine, for a moment or two, she must be thinking what kind of village bum, her sis (Neha) has chosen but then Ting! The MENTOS moment… and Ms. Bluestocking realized the sarcasm. Long forgotten Hindi with perfectly alright accent came back to life. I was so inclined to ask the jackass about this sudden transformation but then, whatever!!
Later on I was acquainted with some more esteemed facts like whenever Her Majesty visits India, the whole colony gets a pesticide treatment so that NRI couple and kids don’t get some ailment from dirty Indian suburbs. Not only that, whenever the kids try to learn or speak Hindi, they get spanked coz this might result in forgetting their command on English which I guess is the one and only omnipotent thing in this world to them.
Seriously people, what the fuck is this? You were born here, spent 25 years of your life in these streets, speaking Hindi, eating food from those road side shops, drinking this water and now 3-4 years in USA or some other western part of this world and you find it grueling to speak Hindi in right manner? I think its not grueling, they feel some kind of shame in speaking in their mother tongue. Sorry boss, but please do us a favor and keep your fat ass in your almighty west only. We are really really not interested!!
Cheers!!
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I take it YOUR kids will be the shudh hindi speaking type? :P
Waise seriously... I ave seen that people who grew up drinking sadak waala ganne ka juice will not even let their kids drink restaurant ka paani now!
Howdy Maaaaaaaahip? :D
Holy Moly! Verbal diarrhoea!!! ;)
Yeah, but I get your point. Btw, I wonder how they do it, I'm out of the country for so long and the Bombaiya accent still hasn't left me, especially my 'Aila'. Oh well, what can I say.
P.S: Btw,I think the right word is 'Jennyass' :p
bro, i luv this one and i wish every stpd NRI who see our country as a garbage can should read this. "ente bhaaratham etra sundaram" - my India is so very beautiful.
Ki - are baba its not that I am against English or some other language.. its just those bird brained people around who try to pretend as if they are the next Shakespeare to this world.. the Jennyass (Thanks Sparking ;) was speaking in Hindi as if an angrez trying to learn hindi with that toota foota accent.. See, if her kids (who were born and brought up in USA) do that, that is understandable but not from her.. isnt it?
Sparkling - "Verbal diarrhoea" LOL!! nothing new for me :)) and that is the whole point.. if your English accent gets changed.. I can still understand but how can your hindi get spoiled :D
For correction.. tum nai hoti to mera kya hota.. I have already used that above BTW :)
Sawan - Long time.. how are you Mr. Aashiq.. and yeah "ente bhaaratham etra sundaram" :)
It is truly amazing how quickly the accent goes, when you want it to. A lot of us, Indians, feel that we must change everything from accents, names to food habits just because we are in the west. Actually the westerners do not expect any such thing. About the Paani, when you are on a short holiday somewhere, I suppose you need not take chances with your health and spoil the vacation. To me the fake behaviour just demonstrates a lack of pride in one self. I know Indian professors in the US who even after twenty years have their original accent, except for some intonation for a few words.. that too so the teens there can follow clearly.
Well said Mr. Gupta (finally your identity is revealed *sinister laugh*)
You're right, if you get that twang when you speak English it's understandable, but why look down upon a country which made you what you are today. I would get so India sick if I were not here! Jaise bhi hai, it's home and I'm loving it :)
Its been 11 years since I left India, and I still have an indian accent.
Aren't you proud of me? :D
Oh and I still speak in hindi with most my friends. Hindi-english mixed. You know what I mean. :)
yo maaaaaaaaaahip, wassup dude?
I hate that accent...i wonder what would happen if i ever shift my base to US or Australia...
Yeah, it sure is very frustrating.
Even I have my cousins living in canada for more than 10 years now. But whenever they come here, its not that they dont like to speak hindi. They do. Infact my cousin brother who is a year elder to me tries to read out the hindi ka script wherever he finds something written in hindi. And by the end of the trip, he actually aces it. Its a different thing that when he comes again after more than a year, he's back to square one. :P
So I haven't really got this feeling which you have expressed here. But yeah, had I met someone like that female on your post, i'd have had the same reaction.