A week or so ago, I noticed that the silicone is wearing in my shower. While I have been trying to do everything to avoid having to repair the shower it has come time to do something with a bit of black mold behind the silicone.
So I make the inevitable trip to Home Depot (not sure if you have one of these stores but if you don’t they will come…invest in them but don’t ever shop there). I ask one of the many ‘helpful’ people there who simply tell me to remove the silicon, clean it really well and replace it. All you need is a few simple supplies and it’s a piece of cake. Cake I think, yeah right. I have no choice so I buy the simply supplies and walk out the door.
I start hacking away at the old silicone around the shower but I of course, cannot get in between the glass and the silicone on the glass door. So I again, make another trip to Home Depot (aka hell) this is the inevitable Home Depot scam #1 – you ALWAYS end up going back and forth because they ALWAYS forget to mention something, don’t tell you how much you need, or something doesn’t work. I chat with some ‘helpful’ staff who don’t know what I am talking about – I’m smart enough to take some photos (this is a must for any Home Depot question because they never know what you are talking about when it’s close to lunch) and they tell me that I have to remove the glass. Removing the glass no longer sounds simple. I drive home and start taking apart the door to remove the glass. Of course, the bolts will not undo (this is Home Dept Scam #2 – the necessary bolts never unscrew). I drive back to Home Depot to buy some WD-40. A few hours later, the glass is amazingly in one piece and I now have the silicon trim. I am proud! Again, I drive back to the minimum wage workers at Home Depot hoping for an easy solution and show them the piece I need – after going around the entire store, waiting for people to come back from their break and being passed on from one department to the next, I am eventually told that they don’t sell any bathroom trim pieces (Home Depot Scam #4 – they never have the pieces you require but are happy to sell you an entire new kit). Now, I am angry with myself for getting in so deep and not listening to my gut that this entire idea was stupid and it would be best to let the shower completely mold until it fell apart. So the next day, I spend a good chunk of it calling all around the city looking for a replacement. I find one place where the man actually seems to know what I’m talking about.. Naturally, they are located across town, a 40 minute drive each way with no traffic and over two big bridges which at any given time could have an accident on them. The next day, I do the trip, find the place only to be told they don’t have it in clear. Oh well, black, clear, whatever. Plus, I figure in the future, no one will see any black mold because it will be hidden in the black trim.
Come home and finally think that I can start the ‘putting it back together stage’ except I need one final run to Home Depot for some new screws. Of course, after scowling through 500 little boxes of screws with most of them meant for 7 foot apes, I find someone who works in the Department (yes, Home Depot Scam #428 where people can’t actually help a customer in another department) only to be told that they don’t have the ones I require. The man suggests I visit a specialty store not too far away. I finally get the screws and return home. It’s now taken me a half of a day to get a piece of plastic and eight screws. I should have just bought an entire new shower for $1,000.
So finally I begin the new silicone installation, I have a silicon gun, gloves to ensure the stuff doesn’t get on my hands, etc. etc. An hour or so later, I have one side panel on – it looks pretty good. Then I realize that I can’t install the bottom plate with the side panel on. I have to remove it. So I remove it, go to remove all of the silicon and of course, cleaning it makes a huge mess. Now, I’m not happy. I spend three more hours removing the new silicone. There is a big mess in the washroom, in the kitchen and everywhere in between because the silicon sticks to everything including myself, my clothes and socks.
This brings me to today. With another trip to Home Depot to buy more ‘supplies’ including another bottle of silicone and gloves, I begin again. All and all I do a pretty good job. I follow the instructions of putting a line of tape, putting a bead of silicone. No one mentions for how long I am to leave the tape and silicon on but I do large portions and remove the tape and for the side panels it appears to be working. However, on the bottom there is a bit of a gap between the silicone and the bottom panel which is obviously crucial to ensure the wood behind the showers doesn’t get wet. So I push the silicone down. It looks like crap. I call my Dad, he tells me to get rid of the gloves, lick my finger and just run it along the bottom. Hmmm I was told not to get it on my hands but now my Dad is telling me to lick my finger….it doesn’t sound so healthy… but at this point, I don’t care. I can eat a bit of silicone or go insane removing it all again and tossing it over the balcony and ending up in jail. I work away for several more hours thinking about how I am going to explain why a certain plan isn’t done and figure someone might laugh hard enough from my stupidity to forgive me for a day or two. I work away while thinking about business ideas and the irony of improvement business. ‘Home Hardware - Home of the Handy man” If I could find one there who would do the job I’d shop there but wait, they don’t shop there either. Home Depot’s slogan ‘More Saving. More Doing” Yeah, apparently opportunity cost aren’t calculated in this equation - you save $5 and spent a week of your time. There’s a bargain. So eventually, it looks pretty good but I don’t feel well. I feel nauseous!
I get up and try to figure out how to put the door on but can’t remember how it was done and logically, the door holder and the glass metal doesn’t seem to make sense. The door is now sitting against my dining room chair in the washroom. Perfect!
With several hours sitting on the floor of the shower installing silicon, how about a ‘Dog House Eliminator’ App – it’ll remind you of events and give you ideas of what to buy and what’s expected?
Perhaps tomorrow, I might get the door on.
Now if you guys are wondering that narrator of the story does not look like me, you have guessed it right. Meet Christa, she is a very good friend and business associate, lives in Canada and apart from fixing showers, do wild life photography, play with numbers (accounts) and of course tolerate me to make some of the retarded product ideas come true.
Edit - I think I should have posted it in two parts but when I was reading it, I didn’t really realize its that long. Anyways.. read it on your own risk.. oops.. I think disclaimer should come before the post..but then.. whateve!!