Beware! Bozos on the loose
Have you ever noticed how many jerks are rambling open in this world who should have never actually been allowed to come out of the primary schools. They will look like our regular next door guy but with a catch, and that is, they never actually came across the basics of a civilized society. They wander open in streets threatening to humanity and can be found everywhere without putting in any major efforts. If you ask me, now when they are already out and probably too old for schools, only other suitable place that comes to mind is perhaps a zoo.

The subjects here can be divided in several categories and as it will not be possible to cover them all in a single post, I will start with a generic category which is usually found on roads. You don’t really need to hunt for them, count 1, 2, and hey presto! There they are… honking with all their might. No left, no right, no rules, no regulations, just honk honk honk. To quench my never ending thirst for erudition, I decided to interview some serious gamers in the field with just one question, why do people honk! So here we go…

Subject 1 – 20 something, nicely trimmed goatee, wearing a leather jacket, pierced ear, expensive shades and even expensive bike

Style uncle style! Gotta noticed by chicks, aap nai samjhoge baba, tez gadi chalane padta hai, ladki log ko impress karna padta hai (you won’t understand old bag, need to drive fast, need to impress the gals)

Subject 2 – in his middle age, accelerating an old Bajaj Chetak like doing 120 miles per hour but actually standing still on a red signal, finger firmly glued to horn button.

Puzzled.. am I? heh heh!!

Subject 3 – from some nearby village, in a Mahindra Utility overloaded with grain bags, milk cans and 2 buffalos. Wearing Pagdi, dhoti and kurta (Turban and traditional Indian dress)

Tanne ke? Mhari gadi, mhara horan, tanne ke panchayant hon laag ri hai? Aur ib side main ho le, varna mar mara javega (None of your bloody business. My car, my horn, who are you to ask? And BTW, stay out of the way or will be flattened here only.)

Subject 4 – a truck driver on highway, no traffic but still screaming with the pressure horn.

Gadi ke peeche dekho saab (look at the back of truck sir)

In colorful letters it had written -

Hum bhi banna chahte the sangeetkar, par duniya luta baithe
Kismat kuch aise palti, lorry chala baithe

(wanted to be a musician but lost everything, life took a steep turn and ended up as a truck driver)

Bus saab is liye ye horn se he music baja baja ke khush ho lete hai (so sir, I try to please myself by playing some music with this horn)

Then suddenly some loud folk music echoed in the air, I tried to figure out where it was coming from and saw a camel-cart on the far end of road. As it came nearer I asked the villager riding on it. Hey what’s wrong, why this loud music?

kya kare saab, hamari gadi main horn nai hai na, to bus ye gana baje ke he khush ho lete hai.

(What to do sir, no horn in my camel-cart so trying to please myself by this music only)

To be contd..
(with a different category of bozos next time)

Till then, keep honking…

Cheers!

31 Responses
  1. Insignia Says:

    Hahahahaha neat observation.

    Have you come across horns which are jarring music? You just want to vanish from there types!!

    Waiting for different set of bozos :-)


  2. Sid Says:

    "Hum bhi banna chahte the sangeetkar, par duniya luta baithe
    Kismat kuch aise palti, lorry chala baithe"

    Sahi hai bhidu :)


  3. Hmmm.. the guys who bajofy horns were technically supposed to be with horns.

    P.S. Wattta brilliant comment:)

    P.P.S. Funny :)


  4. Dewdrop Says:

    :) and adding to ur list...
    Subject 5 : A truck driver in a traffic signal, with his thumb firmly pressed on the horn... 'Kya hua bhai, kahe hoorn baja rahe ho? Batti abhi bhi lal hi hai na'... the truck driver says : 'Oore O Babuya, kahe likhat padhat nahi ho ka? Ka lika hai truck ke peeche?'... and when u take a sneak peek, it says, in bold black letters ": HORN OK PLEASE!!!


  5. There used t be a tempo in our vicinity which said something to the tune of
    "Sun sako to sun lo. Sach hota hai kadva
    Driver bilkul sant hai. Seth hee sala bhadva".Though for some reason "bhadva" was written as "bha" (the devnagiri symbol). I don't know if this was just humor or if the driver had something going against the owner. Much jollity however


  6. And then you say, you've nothing to write!! Man! You're a management guru cum writer. Shiv Khera II !!

    There is another category. Rich brats, spoilt to the core. Driving an insanely cheap/ expensive 4 wheeler- windows rolled down- some insane song blaring out and stunning passers by. Cut to act IV scene 5. They corner an unsuspecting girl. Breaks screech- The girl screeches too! And All the brats laugh in unision. The girl brushes it aside as immaturity. The guys continue laughing their heads off at having cornered a mouse, in a cat and mouse game. Hate that category.

    By the way nice post. Genuinely! How do you even come up with topics. Mere yahaan aakaal pada hai


  7. Anya Says:

    :)
    :)
    :)
    Very funny post :-)

    Enjoy your weekend

    (@^.^@)


  8. Hiii,

    Me and some of my frnds have started an e-magazine, Called Reader's Quotient It is totally for a unique noble cause of funding education of needy children.I came across ur blog in my quest to search talented writers and felt worth to inquire if u shall be willing to come along with us?

    If yes kindly reply at sangeeta.goswami@readersquotient.com

    Waiting for your revert.

    Regds/Sangeeta Goswami
    www.readersquotient.com


  9. blunt edges Says:

    i guess i have seen each of these types...n a couple more...if u run outta categories 4 your next post, do get in touch with me...i'm sure i can help ;)


  10. Isignia - Oh yeah, how can you forget them.. Man dole mera tan dole and Dhen Te Ne :P


    Sid - Ek dum sahi bhidu :D


  11. Dr. Bodhi - Oh my.. don't you think this brillian comment line should be mind :D Some narcissist huh?

    Dewdrop - Hahah.. thanks for the contribution.. Honk Honk :D


  12. Naren - Now this one is brillint indeed.. All in a day's work :D

    Ms. Saints - Now this can be sarcasm or flattery.. right? I dont have any misconception about myself so I will stick to blogs only.. I dont want people basing me for writing books :D

    Topics.. hmm, just look around and there are plenty of them :)


  13. Anya - Thanks

    Sangeeta - Thanks alot.. I don't consider myself as a writer or something, let alont talented.. But I will be glad to be a part of the noble cause. Will contact you on your email ID. Cheers :)


  14. Blunt Edges - Oh that is most welcome.. wanna write a guest post :D


  15. D writer Says:

    wonderful post...keep horning the hornwallahs...waiting for the next part


  16. A S Says:

    hahahahaha!

    tanne ke! wala was the besttt!


  17. Shanu Says:

    I hate HATE hate people who honk..honk karne se kya traffic fast jaayega ya phir signal jaldi change hoga..sahi kaha tumne...bozos hai yea saare!

    Waise analysis acha tha!


  18. :-D

    Waiting for next post. :)


  19. sawan Says:

    lol :) u have a treat for us in each of ur posts J fun read and a thinking factor! Cheers bro.


  20. Choco Says:

    "kya kare saab, hamari gadi main horn nai hai na, to bus ye gana baje ke he khush ho lete hai."

    Haw Haw Haw! Good socially relevant post. I have always had such strong emotions for all this unnecessary honking on our roads *Shakes head in despair*

    PS: To be continued? Changa hain. But its been forever now. :p



  21. D-writer - Yeah.. Well, with the speed I am replying to comments (after almost 2 months) don’t know when that will be :)

    AS - :)


  22. Chandrika - Read above.. reply to d-writer :)

    Sawan - cheers!!


  23. Choco - are yaar bus thoda sa busy with stuff that brings in bread and pays bill :) BTW, I saw your blog has become private.. so what do one needs to be in elite club ?

    Shanu - yeah.. fortunately or unfortunately.. bus thoda sa kaam ka pressure.. Howz you?


  24. Shanu Says:

    As is evident from my very very late reply, i have been very very very busy..but aap toh humse bhi jyada busy hai!


  25. umapoems Says:

    very well written ...made me smile :)

    http://www.indiblogger.in/indipost.php?post=34845
    Ur Life depends upon the choice u make..do read it and vote to support




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  27. geetaz Says:
    This comment has been removed by the author.

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