Have you ever noticed how many jerks are rambling open in this world who should have never actually been allowed to come out of the primary schools. They will look like our regular next door guy but with a catch, and that is, they never actually came across the basics of a civilized society. They wander open in streets threatening to humanity and can be found everywhere without putting in any major efforts. If you ask me, now when they are already out and probably too old for schools, only other suitable place that comes to mind is perhaps a zoo.
The subjects here can be divided in several categories and as it will not be possible to cover them all in a single post, I will start with a generic category which is usually found on roads. You don’t really need to hunt for them, count 1, 2, and hey presto! There they are… honking with all their might. No left, no right, no rules, no regulations, just honk honk honk. To quench my never ending thirst for erudition, I decided to interview some serious gamers in the field with just one question, why do people honk! So here we go…
Subject 1 – 20 something, nicely trimmed goatee, wearing a leather jacket, pierced ear, expensive shades and even expensive bike
Style uncle style! Gotta noticed by chicks, aap nai samjhoge baba, tez gadi chalane padta hai, ladki log ko impress karna padta hai (you won’t understand old bag, need to drive fast, need to impress the gals)
Subject 2 – in his middle age, accelerating an old Bajaj Chetak like doing 120 miles per hour but actually standing still on a red signal, finger firmly glued to horn button.
Puzzled.. am I? heh heh!!
Subject 3 – from some nearby village, in a Mahindra Utility overloaded with grain bags, milk cans and 2 buffalos. Wearing Pagdi, dhoti and kurta (Turban and traditional Indian dress)
Tanne ke? Mhari gadi, mhara horan, tanne ke panchayant hon laag ri hai? Aur ib side main ho le, varna mar mara javega (None of your bloody business. My car, my horn, who are you to ask? And BTW, stay out of the way or will be flattened here only.)
Subject 4 – a truck driver on highway, no traffic but still screaming with the pressure horn.
Gadi ke peeche dekho saab (look at the back of truck sir)
In colorful letters it had written -
Hum bhi banna chahte the sangeetkar, par duniya luta baithe
Kismat kuch aise palti, lorry chala baithe
(wanted to be a musician but lost everything, life took a steep turn and ended up as a truck driver)
Bus saab is liye ye horn se he music baja baja ke khush ho lete hai (so sir, I try to please myself by playing some music with this horn)
Then suddenly some loud folk music echoed in the air, I tried to figure out where it was coming from and saw a camel-cart on the far end of road. As it came nearer I asked the villager riding on it. Hey what’s wrong, why this loud music?
kya kare saab, hamari gadi main horn nai hai na, to bus ye gana baje ke he khush ho lete hai.
(What to do sir, no horn in my camel-cart so trying to please myself by this music only)
To be contd..
(with a different category of bozos next time)
Till then, keep honking…