Insomniac Thoughts...
Its 3.00 AM in night. Don’t feel like sleeping. Well, I tried but no such luck. Feeling like writing.. hmm… but what? My mind is wandering in all directions. I suppose, germs in my brain are some extra active and restless kindda souls so lots of churning as usual. I can probably work. There is a mail I was supposed to reply 2 days back but at this time am not able to think straight so not a good idea. If she (client) gets to know that I chose to write a blog post over her work, I am a dead man. But still, not in the mood right now. You know what, lucky are people who fall in sleep immediately after getting into bed. Wifey is a good example who sleeps like a drunk. The moment she closes her eyes, she is asleep. Then there is me who fights with himself every night to slumber and finally when it happens, no more than 2-3 hours.

BTW, have you guys encountered the jerks when trying to withdraw money from ATM? These ATMs are supposed to make our lives easy but most of the time end up making it all the more miserable. Thinking again about it, its not the poor ATM, its us, we the people. Anyways, I suppose, there is nothing else to write, so let me try to classify some popular categories for the dumbasses found in ATMs

1) Slow and steady – They firmly believe in living life leisurely. Even if the queue outside is a mile long, they will enter in the booth as if walking in the garden. Spend another 3-4 minutes in finding the card in pocket or bag or whatever secret place they choose to store their valuable possession. Needless to say, they will read each and every instruction/step on screen and then carefully make a choice. Once the money pops out, another 2-3 minutes to count it twice or thrice. Just in case the dumb machine has decided to cheat on them. By the time they come out, most of the people are either calling names, or left in search for other booth or postponed their withdrawal.

2) United we are strong – When someone actually thought of these machines, they imagined of a single person operating it and thus designed the booth to accommodate only 1 person. But then there are few shitheads who just don’t get it. This kind of people will be found stuffed in ATMs unless there is no more room even for air. I have no fucking clue what exactly they do inside or why do they need to go inside in company but when you are alone and they are at least 5, its not a good idea to ask. Is it?

3) Hey its Sunday, let us train the family – I once happened to stuck outside of an ICICI ATM where some jerk was trying to teach his kid on how to operate this miraculous piece of modern machinery which eats your card and pops out money. For first few minutes I didn’t get what exactly is going on but then the smartass started with the 2nd kid and I literally lost it. I barged inside and he was like.. hey don’t you know, you are supposed to wait outside when someone is already in. What happened next is enough material for another post but trust me it was not nice :)

4) I need to use it now, I mean right now – These people somehow missed the primary classes when they were supposed to be taught about things like waiting, queue, patience etc. They will come straight in, totally ignoring your presence inside and start staring as if you are committing some kind of crime. Best part is, most of them are well educated or at least look like that. Try to question them and all you will get is... its so hot outside or hey I am not gonna steal your password or money and so on. Oh what did you say? Guard? Come on, its so hot and thus he is already in, resting on the floor in comfort of AC.

5) Oh what was my PIN once again – I don’t know why the hell banks made this whole process so difficult? I mean 4 bloody numbers for the PIN? Are you nuts or what? How are we lesser mortals supposed to remember such a long and difficult combination? Oh yeah, let us do one thing, write it on the back of the card itself. So these morons will insert the card, attempt 1 or 2 wrong passwords but then its so damn difficult. Hence cancel the transaction, card comes out, check the PIN, insert again. Finally ATM surrenders, money comes out and bingo!! We are done.

Hey I managed to pass almost 15 minutes and this can go on but I am supposed to pick up mom n dad from station in morning 5.00. I have got almost one and half hour so better I try to sleep again… good night folks.

Cheers!!

21 Responses
  1. Now you are one good observer I must say and you sure have an eye for detail and imagination to fill the rest. Not bad Mr. Thoughts. Not bad at all. Looking forward to more such posts from you :-) Especially when you barged in, when a "how to use an ATM machine" class was going on ;-)


  2. Anonymous Says:

    You missed the 'Endless Envelope Depositer' where they put ONE cheque in one envelope, lick every part of the seal, key in the amount, check the reciept, then start on envelope #2 repeat the entire process, #3 and so on. And the total amount of all the envelopes wouldn't buy you lunch.


  3. Sparkling Says:

    I'd have to agree; you sure have some amazing observational skills!
    And for once I'd have to agree with you about all those shitheads.

    P.S: Imagine my plight, my PIN has 6 numbers :p


  4. Shanu Says:

    LOL

    PIN on the ATM card? Matlab card churaya toh passwrd guess karne ki jaroorat bhi nahi..sahi hai yaar!


  5. KD. K Bodhi Says:

    Lol! Awesome post. I think you are writing talent waiting to be discovered by the masses. I loved this post. But in our defense

    1. You wouldn't want to withdraw 10000 instead of 1000 by rushing. So the leisure pace. And hey it is hot outside! So why hurry out?

    2. It's kinda cosy. So you go in with a girl. You know....

    5. Hey! People do forget. Especially, when you are a "danndasooru" and use your parent's ATM card :D


  6. LOL. U r a very minute observer. Hats off to u. :)


  7. Insignia Says:

    Hahaha...It was hilarious but I know you would be fuming!! There are few folks who withdraw money in installments!! Oh my God!! These folks make you wait for eons.

    Then there are few who are just learning how to use ATMs. You offer them help and you are looked upon with suspicion, and if you are a lady who is familiar with this sophisticated technology, there are unbelievable eyes prying on you as if asking "Oh arent you ladies supposed to be dumb? You are supposed to fidget with that thing!!"


  8. Ms. Saints - Thanks.. coming from you, I will take it as praise.. :)

    Anonymous - Thankfully, there are not many people using ATMs to deposit the money so we are kindda safe on that part.. but yeah, can imagine the frustration.


  9. Sparking - wow.. you agree to me.. miracle or what.. :)

    Howz your mood now.. what happened to the apartment BTW? Founds any?

    Shanu - Yes dear.. there are gems like that.. Its not fiction. Based on facts collected by yours truly :)


  10. Dr. Bodhi - Thanks but I am flattered. BTW, are you in the first category :) and what is "danndasooru"

    Chandrika - Thanks :)


  11. Insignia - Agreed :) Ladies and technology.. I know how it sounds :)

    oh.. not me.. I have no doubts on their skills and capabilities but then if I remember, there was a forward mail few days back on how men and women use ATM.. remember that..


  12. JD Says:

    some observation that :-)

    surfed to ur blog thru other blogs and liked the post..


  13. D Writer Says:

    hehe nice read...ATM ailments are really so common...i hav also had my share of adventures at ATMs but of a different variety...you can browse through my older posts for that...


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  15. I used to be the slow and leisure types when I first started using the ATM...had no clue which side to use to insert the card. Now...I have got used to doing it.


  16. Gayathri - Good for others :) better late than never.. right?


  17. D-Writer - Yeah.. I have read them in past :) I think that is when I started following your blog


  18. Anya Says:

    Touching story
    lovely lines written ...

    Happy Valentine's day 2mrw :-)


  19. KD. K Bodhi Says:

    daandasooru => Useless fellow who depends on his parents for money


  20. Sid Says:

    Good post dude... First time here. Was an interesting read


  21. Anya - oops.. you sure, you ain't missing something :)

    Dr. Bodhi - wooo.. now that does not fit on you.. does it?

    Sid - Thanks :)