You are hired...
Few days back we published an advert in newspaper for developers and some other posts like content writing and online marketing. During the process of scrutinizing the right candidates, I also got the pleasure of talking to some real gems. I don’t think it will be the only reason if I am found in a mental asylum in couple of years but there will be a huge contribution to these adverts which we keep on publishing on regular basis. So, here goes the collector’s edition of these not so rare gems.

Candidate 1

Without bothering to introduce or wasting time on hi hello

C - Is it xxx-xxx-xxx
Me – Yes
C – So what is the profile of your company?
Me – and what is it regarding?
C – You have this advert in paper for job requirements.
Me – Well, in that case, don’t you think, I should be the one asking for this question?
C – Umm, I am xyz and I have completed my engineering and... some blah blah blah
C – May I know who am I speaking to?
Me – Maheep
C – So Pradeep why..
Me – M A H E E P
C – Yeah Sandeep
Me – cutting in between... Mail me your resume and we will see.
C - Why don’t you text me your address and I will bring it in person and then we can speak further.
Me - Why don’t you shove it up in your… arsehole

Candidate 2

C – Hi, my name is XYZ and I am a network engineer in YYY but I am looking to change the profile and wanted to know more about your institute and courses you are offering.
Me – Where exactly our advert says that we run an institute and offer courses?
C – It says .Net, C++ and all that
Me – Yeah, but if you put in a little more effort, it also says we need software developers.
C – Oh! Is that so? You are looking for software engineers and it’s not about training?
Me – Precisely
C – Umm, you have mentioned .Net in the advert so that should be for network and in that case my current profile will suit you.
Me – What did you say? You are an engineer?
C – Yeah
Me – Computer Engineer?
C - Yeah
Me – Ever heard of Google?
C – Yeah
Me – Then use it shithead, to find the meaning of .Net

Candidate 3

in email

In reference to your advert for the post of software developers, I have sent my resume on xx-xxx. This is to remind you, if it meets your expectations, call me.

Thanks

XYZ

So what are you? Godfather? Chota Shakeel?

Mind it, I am not exaggerating. It’s copy-paste from the Godfather’s email and same with the phone conversations. I think I have all the reasons to feel blessed that I didn’t attend all of them. Otherwise… god save me…

That reminds me of my first meeting with my father-in-law who didn’t have a clue about software industry and quite naively he asked. So son, where do you procure your raw material from? So folks this is our raw material, man power, and this is how we procure them.

Cheers!!

17 Responses
  1. Shanu Says:

    LOL...Aur kitne interviews baki hain?


  2. WOW! Not bad! These guys can't really complain about the unemployment problem can they!
    Two questions: Which company do you head? And are you looking for content writers with some experience in that field? :) It'd be scary being interviewed by you!!


  3. KD. K Bodhi Says:

    LoL! It must be soo much fun to interview such people. You should have played along for some more time:D Good "raw material" for your blog.


  4. Anil Sawan Says:

    o m g.. bro, u r a blessed person u see. why would all this happen to u otherwise? :P well, is there a hr vacancy in ur firm? id luv to entertain myself while working :D


  5. Sparkling Says:

    You sure are blessed!

    Imagine free entertainment every minute of your working hours :p


  6. Rahul Says:

    The title of post should be raw material :P


  7. AS Says:

    hii
    hahaha! very interesting read! some pple are born to irritate others :P


  8. Kavitha Says:

    Recruitment is always entertaining! Reminds me of the times when we had to mute the phone before laughing out heads off at some of these gems.

    Funny blog you got here... Hopped here from Narendra Shenoy's blog.


  9. Insignia Says:

    Hahahahaha...I can absolutely relate with this sort of behavior. I once asked a freshie who was 3 months into his present company why was he looking for a change.

    His reply "More money!"

    I politely smiled and said I had no further questions to ask him


  10. Shanu - Are yaar.. its a regular exercise.. say every 2 months.. so love it or hate it.. cant ignore it..

    Ms. Saints - Hahaha.. I am not sure about them but hey I can complain..

    about your question -

    Well, I head a small software company and we work for mobile development.. you want to know the website? We need content writers for article writing and other similar stuff.. most of the time technical but I am too happy to teach them technology if only they know English.. alas! :(


  11. Ms. Saints - I am not sure if its scary being interviewed by me.. how can I know and people say I am an innocent looking and sweet talker so dont think that should be the case ;)


  12. Dr. Bodhi - not sure about fun.. but frustrating for sure..

    Sawan - I already offered you my seat.. din't I? :) you dont know what you are asking for


  13. Sparkling - and imagine the pain my dear :)

    Rahul - No comments dude :)

    AS - I second you.


  14. Kavitha - Hahaha.. can imagine.. Mr. shenoy.. wooo.. he is a genius..

    Insignia - So I am not alone :)


  15. Maheep can i get a job of liftwoman in your company?


  16. gayathri - liftwoman? why? we dont need a hot babe for this.. do we :D