I really love Sundays. Not that it makes a huge difference in my adrift lifestyle but I guess some psychological notion works behind the feeling. However, there is a small problem… well, not actually small but with a huge brunt, and that is, my mum also shares the same feeling and eagerly waits for this very day while making several mental notes through out the week for the chores to be thrown in between me and my beautiful Sunday.
Today as well, I was about to be kicked out from my shelter if I didn’t clean it up, so with a heavy heart I abandoned the TV and reached to the messy corner, originally labeled as my room. While hustling and tussling with the piles of old papers, I found an old, almost torn book and as I opened it, it drifted me to the old days… memories, so deeply rooted in me that I can never forget them. Atif was playing “Meri Kahani” on the music system and I was like floating in the moments from my past, my surroundings, my whole life.
When mum n dad got married in 70’s, dad used to get 400 bucks as salary. Same with mum but still they did what I can’t even imagine this day. They made this house, brought us up with best of the facilities among all kids in our age group, saved for the life coming up and did whatever we can think of in a middle class family. When they built the home, immediately after the marriage, they were in such a debt that mum couldn’t even buy a new dress for next 2 years. Today, I earn more than that per hour but whenever me and my brother speak on phone, the favorite phrase about our present situation is “Hand to Mouth”. The value of money has changed for sure but more than that, its our mentality that has changed.
I still remember when I was around 9 years old, dad bought me a yellow ball and somehow I left that in open sun and wrecked it. I think the cost was 8 or 10 bucks but with such an embarrassment and fear (coz I thought I have made a big loss and probably it was, considering their salary of that time) I asked dad, if I can get a new one and instead of getting angry, he was like.. sure my son!! Today I can’t remember when I thought twice before spending 100 bucks, on an useless item but when I look at dad, he still tries to save 10 bucks where he can, for example carrying the water from home instead of buying a Bisleri. How I wish, I could have even 50% of his good practices in life.
When we were kids, Samurai Video Game was the most happening thing and I so wanted to have one for myself but I always knew I can’t, coz more than affordability it was about the needs. That was my wish, not need and I convinced myself that some day when I will earn, I will buy the best of the game station available in market. Needless to say, I can buy any damn gaming console today but I don’t. When I think about the reasons, I guess its coz I can easily buy it any given day and that is why it has lost its charm. As a human being only those things attract us which we can’t have. At that time, we had to wait even for the small things but after getting them it used to be such a feeling that I can’t express in words. Today, buying some thing no more makes a difference, probably coz I no more long for it.
When the first phone was installed in our home, I was in such euphoria for several days, while telling the number rather boasting to any person who came across my way. Today, I guess its more than 5 numbers alone in my name but then what?. My first mobile handset was a used Samsung R220 B&W and after buying, I didn’t sleep properly for several nights coz I used to dream about it all the time, trying to play with it whenever I could. Today we have around 30 handsets (thanks to my profession, where we need them for testing) and all of them are the dream phones, one can have, but I don’t think I even look at it again after buying.
My first (and last) girl friend and me used to talk about all this for hours. We didn’t have any money but what we had was far more important than that, and that was time and happiness. There were promises to buy her new jeans or a jacket or a watch when I will have some money. We used to roam around in market, highways (on my old Kinetic Scooter) while thinking about our future. Sit together on the floor of my room, just too happy by having each other itself, weaving small dreams about the life coming up. Whenever I could get some money, some of the promises used to be fulfilled but that was not very frequent. Needless to say, things are different now and not that perilous on financial front but what I don’t have now is time, happiness and above all… her.
I think this is some thing where I will never get short on words and keep on writing for the ages and pages but better hold myself, or plan a part 2 of the post. By now you must be wondering what that book was… It was my first bank pass book. I opened that account in my early teens and the transactions were ranging in 50 to 500 bucks but every transaction had a story associated with it. To say, that I miss those times will be an understatement but what I can say very confidently is, any given day I will be ready to exchange my present with that past.