You have got a visitor…
There are times when I just sit and try to analyze myself. Lots of churning goes on at those times and in general, I have observed that I don’t like people. It might sound weird and creepy and you are free to imagine me as a rude, self-obsessed narcissist but that is how it is. Most of them irritate me to an extent where I feel like screaming and deem that world would be a far happier and livable place if it could get rid of some of the morons and some of the over intelligent (read smartass) people. Or at the least, almighty could do a balancing job by distributing some of the intelligence from these smartasses to their counterparts i.e. plain asses… Well, I am not sure if good god has any such plans in near future or not but as an alternative, (s)he (again, I am not sure if god is male or female…) keeps on sending some subjects to me, so that my belief stay intact. Today was the day, when god was in one of those nasty moods to test my patience and it started like – 

11.00 AM – Came to office, haven’t even finished the first dose of coffee

R (one of my PMs) comes in – there are 2 guys who wanna meet you.. 
Me – For?
R – Not sure, I tried speaking to them but they insisted to see you.
Me – Hmm.. send them in 

They come in, staring at the office… up and down, left and right..
I am silently praying its not an income or sales or service or whatever tax raid, you never know with those jerks nowdays

V – Nice office you have.. 
Me – fear getting stronger, Thanks!
V – Quite good for a computer repair business
Me – Excuse me
V – Huh… Nothing
Me – So how can I help you?

One of them gets the laptop from bag and places it on my desk

V – I wanna get some software installed in it, I have this list my kid gave to me (trying to find some thing in his pocket)
Me – Blink in astonishment (Now the pieces fall in place like why he said nice place for a computer repair shop)
V – How much would you charge for this?
Me – Sorry but we don’t do this, we develop software, that too for cell phones. 
V – Huh, but I was told that I can contact you to get this done
Me – I am sorry, but this is not what we do here, thanks…
V – Still sitting
Me – THANKS
V – Are you sure…
Me – !@#*^& Yes I am

12.30 Noon

Peon – some one is there for you...

V – I am AK
Me – expecting him to say more but he remains silent…
Me – So…
V – I was told that you will be expecting me
Me – But I was not…
V – Excuse me
Me – Err… never mind
V – You are M (a name quite similar to mine)
Me – Sorry but I am M
V – oh…
Me - @#^%$&

4.00 PM – sorry but day is not finished yet :(

R once again, there are some visitors for you?
Me – Not again.. 
R – Smiles
Me - What are my options?
R – None! One of them says, he is your dad’s friend
Me – Hmm…

Comes in and speaks non stop for next 5 minutes about how good friends he and my dad are, though its altogether a different story that I have never seen or heard about him in my whole life.

gives me an old pamphlet, pale and torn as if Columbus discovered it in one of his voyages

Me – So?
V – Actually, this is a computer institute (again blah-blahs for next 2-3 minutes) and its about the franchisee of the same.
Me – Oh so you are planning to take franchisee of this.
V - Not exactly, I already have that but I think I am too old and misfit for this so I was thinking probably you can take it and give me 25%, you can keep rest of it and thus it would be a profitable business for both of us.. right? 
Me – some silent curses and then goes another 5 minutes to explain him that I really am not interested 
V – Disappointed, while leaving
Me – BTW, tell me one thing, if I would really want to do some thing like that, why will I give you 25%... I can go directly to these guys and have a franchise in my name.. no?
V – Stares back at me
Me – Gee.. Thanks

Me - Screaming at peon.. come what may but no more visitors for next 7 days.. tell them that I am dead… 

Cheers!!

38 Responses
  1. Anil Sawan Says:

    lol, seems like God chose you for all those funny encounters with funny people :) thnk God, m laughin at some one else' expence :P lol, yeah i know, but i am immune to curses, so go sleep :)


  2. vinny Says:

    hehhehehe...seriously, Sawan ne sahi kaha...u r the chosen one for encounters with the 'special' ones...thanks for sharing n free laughs :):)


  3. Sen Says:

    @ ST...heehehe... I am sure my day will be great after this... my life seems like Vanilla ice cream after all the encounters you seem to have :))


  4. Richa Says:

    lolz.. i can so understand ur plea.. it may sound weird, but i too do not like people :D


  5. Sparkling Says:

    Sheessssh!!! you're such a spoil sport :p

    How come you're so lucky to have such a motley crew around u?

    Great expenditure of patience I must say :)


  6. Anonymous Says:

    Hahahaha! :D
    VERY FUNNY!!!!! :D

    I empathise with you though.

    Some people need to be wiped off the face of the Earth.


  7. sawan - oh yeah.. but take care. nazar na lag jaye and some of the traffic get diverted to your direction :P

    vin - ha ha.. now what do I say :)

    Sen - oh yeah.. plain vanilla so which one do you like more ;)


  8. Richa - welcome to the club :)

    Still - Like all of them said.. I am inclined to believe that I am the chosen one.. BTW, wanna have few of them from this motely crew on your side :P

    Ki - :)


  9. Dewdrop Says:

    :) LOL!!! like Murphy's Law - everything that could go wrong did!



  10. Anonymous Says:

    I guess - soon someone wil write a book or even a movie be a good option for things like this [:D]


  11. Anonymous Says:

    LOL...
    really funny.. one day and some wierd people targetting you.. phew..



  12. Raj - :)

    Kanaguonline - can't help it.. I am the chosen one :)

    Scrawler - ha ha.. good.. howz vacation going on? what happened to Jaisalmer trip ?


  13. Rajeswari Says:

    Back to my Den! btw...i came to your place to meet you...but you were nowhere near...heard that u were busy with encounters ;-)


  14. Rajeswari Says:

    An encounter specialist :-)


  15. scrawler - hah.. this is not fair yaar..


  16. Rajeswari Says:

    oops..i forgot to mention that i was on a virtual tour after reaching kerala..i spoke to sawan(its not virtual meet) fooled him(our dear Hero will tell u more on that!)...then i went to mumbai..our dear Sen was busy with weight reduction programme ;-)and sweetie vins was busy with Rover.FRom there i reached your place...and i donno where u vanished..yes,i know where were you! :-)


  17. Rajeswari Says:

    Finally couldn't meet anyone even though i had a plan to organise a get together of our gang!


  18. my my.. how about a real get together in real world.. instead of virtual one :) when are you coming again to India ? or all of us plan a trip to there ;) in shopping festival next time.. I guess this one is already about to over ?


  19. Rajeswari Says:

    will be in India for 2 and a half months...from mid june/july...
    your second option also sounds good! shall we plan a get together during next year's shopping festival??


  20. sounds like a plan to me.. but not sure what others in gang say?? when you are here.. probably that will be best time.. say in mumbai.. coz those two crazy gurls wont have to come out of their dens :)


  21. Rajeswari Says:

    our gang members are not responding :-(


  22. I know... where is gang.. guess we need to send them invitation card !! :)


  23. Very funny! Thanks for visiting my blog and for your comments. I will come back and check up on you again!


  24. Anil Sawan Says:

    got the invitation card :) okies, so serious discussion on a get together!! shoping festival sounds a good idea.. atleast the govt wud get some money as taxes :P but then it wud take another year for them to organize it!! so?? maybe some other festival during june-sep.. but fix the location first.


  25. catvibe - Thanks :)

    sawan - oh my!! look who is here :P

    okay, jokes apart.. me serious about this.. not sure about rest of the gang.. when scrawler is there in June, it can be a good idea.. Mumbai would be center place I guess or you guys are all invited for a desert safari :))


  26. Karthik Says:

    //…V – I was told that you will be expecting me

    Me – But I was not…

    V – Excuse me//

    LMAO... Funny office.. If i'm jobless, i cn gt a job of PEON and am very well ready to say that ST IS DEAD or HE IS ON HIS HONEYMOON :P


  27. Karthik - your address please, I will arrange to send the appointment letter :P

    Sawan - so you are in for the gang meet! where are our navigators ;)


  28. Anil Sawan Says:

    dont even ask.. some one said she is not even aware of the meet :P


  29. Rajeswari Says:

    Hero...what abt the idea of organizing a meet during a book release function? ;-)


  30. Sawan - yeah.. I doubt that they have lost interest in my blog :( and dont even bother to check this section.. but I can't really blame them.. Vin must have forgotten the directions to reach here and there is no red post box as well :( so how will she make a landmark :P and Sen, she is too busy with weight loss and threatening the mirror - "mirror on the wall... who is most slim trim in all.." ;)

    Scrawler - who is writing it.. you or hero.. or this is the part of prank you played on our poor hero ;)


  31. Anil Sawan Says:

    Scrawler, wow, tht sounds cool.. but i thought the release function wold be Kerala!!

    ST, not mine.. m still a junior artist :)


  32. Anonymous Says:

    Sounds like a nice plan... yeah these days mirrors are running away when they see me...cant take the pressure :P


  33. vinny Says:

    Am i late ??? OK, Sen gave me the invitation phone call..thanks to her or i wouldnt even know whats happening behind my back :):)
    Hi Gang, I am V1 n used to be ur blogging buddy!!

    anyways, meeting up sounds like a good idea but i need to be escorted fro my home n dropped back too...so tell me, if thats fine.. i will come even saath samundar paar :)


  34. scrawler - what about book.. what is the suspense poetess

    sen - oh.. be careful gurl while in home.. and I have full sympathy with your gharvalahs.. they must be having hard time in walking in home when mirrors are running all over for their life.. pretty good chances for a smash :P

    Vin - kaan ke neeche bajau abi ? sab yaad aa jayega ke bataya tha ya nai.. escort.. hmm.. never mind.. hum sen ko send kar denge tumhare sath :P gosh.. such a PJ :P


  35. Karthik Says:

    My address

    No 6 Vivekanandar Street

    Dubai Main Road

    Dubai


  36. never knew.. Dubai is in Chennai these days ;)