Imagine this – A and B are very good friends but A does not get along very well with C. Now whenever B speaks or laughs or shares some thing with C, it makes A depressed and hurt. According to her, if A does not like C, even B should cut off with her. Not only that, A does not even want to reveal this to B. To her, it should be an obvious reaction for the sake of their friendship. Apparently they end up with a bitter relationship and according to A it was all due to B, who was so uncaring and inconsiderate that she couldn’t understand her true feelings and continued a relationship with someone who was not her favorite.
Now, a more complex example (different from the above) – A and B are cousins and share very similar mindset and a pretty good friendship, which has nothing to do with their blood relation. However, there parents do not go along very well, coz B’s parents do not have a good impression of A’s parents and hence A, or vice versa. Despite this reluctance, B does not care about it and continues to be friends with A. Now B is going to be married and expects A to join little early to be with him for the most important occasion of his life. On the contrary, A’s parents are not very enthusiastic about it coz according to them, it is B’s parents who are supposed to invite them properly and ask for it. As per their opinion, why should A go when B’s parents don’t really like it! Quite conveniently they forget that it was same for B but he always made best of the efforts to keep the relation alive and pleasant. A is stuck between his parents and B but can not do any thing coz he does not want to upset either of them. The false egos of the parents ruin a relationship which was far above than all these immaterial issues.
Sounds familiar? I guess yes… We face similar situations in life all the time and end up in loosing a precious relation which was worth all these fake attitude related problems, but we hardly learn a lesson and repeat this over again. When we love some one, why do we want him/her to create a sphere around and do only those things which are good to our liking? Why don’t we realize that we should not force some one to act as we please, just because we are friends!
Friendship or any other relationship for that matter is supposed to be shared by two individuals but then why do parents or other members in our surroundings, expect those individuals to be nice with them as well. If I share a good relationship with someone, why that ‘someone’ is supposed to have an equally nice relationship with rest of my family? No two persons are same, then how can we expect two families to be similar. While actually it was supposed to be a relation between two individuals, it is expected to be a relation between two families. When 2 individuals were supposed to deal with only their egos and attitudes, now it’s the ego of 10 persons (thanks to the families) which is required to be dealt with. Why every relation has to have some strings attached to it? In today’s world when we are already so stressed and striving for some good relations and friends in our surroundings, why do we make them so complex and end up in impairing the relations for the sake of others who are actually supposed to be totally irrelevant in it.
Alas, I don’t have any answers for all these questions but needless to say, I am damn so frustrated... I don’t even know if you will be able to relate to the characters or make sense of it while reading but cant help it… coz that is how I feel... frustrated!
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I get it :).
Stumbled upon your blog while hopping around. Nice posts you have.
A Thoughtful post!
Rose bloomed in my garden
Lotus&lilly floated..
jasmine crept all over
with fragrance....
I watered the lotus,lilly&jasmine...
Nurtured the Rose...
Rose remained with thorns..
I never knew...
Lotus&Lilly went under..
jasmine gleamed..
Alas!the thorn remains in my garden...
here garden is our heart..lilly,lotus,jasmine are people around us..Rose is the person whom we are fond of or close..it can be anyone..friend..or others...nurturing is taking special care for the person ..leaving rest.Very often we do that..and finally end up with losing other good people around us!
Don't say that this is also OHT :P
wow, st, amazin post and scrawler, amazin comment!
ST, u never shared a glimple of this frustration ovr chat :( wut happened man??
@ ST...no two people think alike...though in the first case it is a case of sheer immaturity and the second case has hppenned/is happenning/will continue happen so long as there are RELATIVES...has it ever occured to you RELATIONS and FRUSTRATIONS rhyme...
hmmmm...ithna frustation??
kahi isme tum tho nahi? chat karthe vaqth kuch nahi dikhaya...hum ghair hain na:)
neways, u vented it all out here ..now forget..topic over
BrownPhantom - Thanks.. keep on coming :)
Scrawler - Nah.. no OHT this time.. and thanks for sharing those words.. you really weave magic with the words.. can totally identify it !!
sawan - dont know buddy.. I was so depressed from last 2-3 days.. lots of things happening around.. I wrote it this evening.. but it was before we were chatting and I was more or less out of it while speaking to you :) No sweat now!!
Sen - First case might sound immature but I have seen that more than once with different people around me.. guess its just human nature.. no matter how much mature we are..
and as far as relations and frustration - made for each other !!
Vin - already clarified dear!! told you.. you dont listen to me :)
Hmmm...
I am following your blog since last couple of weeks. Damn surprising :O :O :O
Wish you good luck !
I understand and I can so totally empathise. *hug*
Arpit - Welcome to my place :) Thanks.. and keep commenting so we know how you feel about it :)
ki - I bet you can.. its same with all of us! *hugs back*
U feel better after sharing ur frustrations here rit??
n scrawler is pakka pakka....
@ST&Vijay..Thanks ;-)
Vijay.. oh yeah.. no better way to vent it out than this :)
hey scrawler.. nice snap dear.. you look sweet :)
i'm "too nice" na...thats why :-)
scrawler - sweet is the word :) at least for this snap!!
and why did you remove it?? :(
Searching for a better snap :-)..i mean a Sweeter one!
Hi Dude, nice post. according to ur crap B just wants 2 understand d complexity of friendship & special relationship but don't u think so that there can be some communication gap which B has created himself. So y don he end up this communication gap may be his frustration will be end after that. Because this communication gap can ruin any relationship... willing / unwillingly.. n B can never come out this frustration if he always keep this gap specially in special relationship.
scrawler - so what happened to sweeter one ;)
anonymous - I am confused!!! you said 'nice post' and then said.. according to 'ur crap' BTW, which example you are talking about.. first or the second..
yeah nice post because u did share this to all of us.. n i was just talking about general & special relationship,n in both of example B is not able to justify any RELATIONSHIP.
BTW what have u decided dude!
Anonymous - Well that is not the case.. these are just exampels and covering the broad picture of the scene.. the actual scenario or dialog can be much longer than that.. if you look closely, no body is actually responsible for it.. this is just how we are wired.. we feel so close with some one that we try to keep a hold on him/her knowingly or unknowingly.. without even realizing that it can cause trouble for others..
BTW, I wont mind if you share your actual identity here..
Arpit - decide on what?
:) Just look at the mirror once, hope u will recognize me. Pahchan kon ?????? n ya thnx to reply my comment coz only through this blog i was expecting ur reply.
:)
Whoever said relationships were ever easy?! Hmmmmmm, I almost feel like I'm living the first case :p (I know, I'm immature!)
When in a relationship; be it a GF, a daughter, a sister or a friend, it's better to just give it our best w/o being influenced by anyone - besides our parents, all other relations are our choices and if we make them, then let's live them wholeheartedly, what say?
P.S: TC. I'm miss blogging :)
Typo: I miss blogging
still - howz vacation?? and yeah.. we can choose the relations and live them wholeheatedly but not as simple as it sounds.. humans after all :)
so you miss blogging.. who chose to disappear? :P
Hm... What else?About trip?
Mrthinks all problems are caused because we hide our actual feelings, for fear of offending the other person - whether it be with friends , family or that biggest of all complexities- in-laws. But I know not the solution.
Cheer up, things may yet get better.
Come again to your blog , the mood is always extremely surging . After reading your latest article , the windfall is still such knowledge and information valuable significance , they were very helpful . Thank you for sharing, look forward to your update !